|Stay classy, Planet Earth. |
Every year I say I'm going to wear a Halloween costume to work. And then I, of course, decide I don't want to take the time to actually plan or execute anything. Fortunately Tim, or Brick Tamland as it were, decided we all dress up together and pay homage to our favorite movie, Anchorman.
Everyone knows that the best scene of the movie is when all the different stations get together and have their street fight. [Let's go over the groundrules. Rule number 1: No touching of the hair or face... AND THAT'S IT!] We figured it would be fitting to use each character's weapon of choice as a prop.
With a bit of tinfoil, Tim easily refashioned a pitchfork into a trident and Kaleb had no trouble getting Brian Fantana's sword. Josh Burgundy didn't have a couch leg or bedpost or whatever handy, so he settled for a billy club. I thought any local Halloween shop would have the brass knuckles I needed, but alas, no.
Me, to stereotypical girl-who-works-at-Halloween-store: Do you have brass knuckles?
Girl: I'm assuming you mean fake brass knuckles. Because you know brass knuckles are illegal in Utah. [I didn't know that and actually found it a little odd that she did.] Please tell me you mean fake brass knuckles.
At this point, I was pretty sure I had stumbled into a Halloween store that was just a front for illegal brass knuckles. What was I supposed to do now? Was this a situation where I was supposed to say, "Yeah, they're totally illegal, wink wink. I suuure wouldn't know where to look if I was trying to find some."
Instead, I just reponded, "Yeah, I think fake brass knuckles will work just fine."
Girl: Well, we don't have any.
Josh noticed that they did sell a nice five-finger "PIMP" ring. He said I could just scrape off the "pimp" and make my own brass knuckles. Ingenious, yes. But who wants to spoil a perfectly good pimp ring? I settled for good ol' fashioned tinfoil and let the viewing public fill in the blanks.
Kaleb was grossed out when he discovered his fake mustache was made with real hair and quite upset when he found it didn't come with any glue or tape. Being the MacGyver that he is, he made it work with a generous application of glue stick to his upper lip. (But paid the price upon removal.)
Jessie woke up sick and nearly missed starring as Veronica Corningstone all together. Realizing that this would have resulted in her permanent ban from work-related friendship, she pulled herself together, plastered her hair down, and took one for the team.
The result? Well, it was more than just the pretty picture seen above. The Channel 4 news team was rewarded with the prestigious honor of 3rd place in the "group costume" division, earning us a $20 gift certificate to a yet-unknown destination. Not $20 each, mind you (we're a nonprofit)--$20 to split amongst the five of us. A just reward.
Sex Panther: They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Tonight we finished up band practice with a cover of Nirvana's "Territorial Pissings." I was thinking about it and I've been playing that song for the past 15 years. That struck me because 1) That's half my life and 2) Though I'm not sure exactly when Kurt Cobain wrote it, I'm guessing he didn't play I longer than maybe five years. Weird.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Our kids fight over everything. Tonight it was Swiper the Fox. Paige, well, swiped it and then headed up to play with it in her room, leaving Curtis screaming downstairs with Traci and me.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Both of our kids have gone through phases where they refuse to have their picture taken. Whether it's Curtis having to grab the lens every time he sees a camera, or Paige who may just turn completely around, there have been very few seconds when both kids are actually willing to say cheese at the same time.
We have stumbled upon one of those rare moments. The only problem? Paige has now introduced a "camera smile." It's more than just a particular smile. She closes one eye, tilts her head to the side, and cocks her arm and thumb like she's doing the Elaine Benes dance on Seinfeld.
Don't believe me? Here. (Disclaimer: Traci was at work, so I was responsible for Paige's hairdo during our trip to Gardner Village.)
Still pretty cute, I guess.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
...We allow, nay, encourage Curtis to walk around with his head inside of his Dora the Explorer booster toilet seat.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Last week, Traci asked, "What happened here after I left this morning?"
"Well, the heat was up, all of the lights were on, an so were both of the TVs."
Today. I got to Grandma's without Paige's backpack, her favorite toy, or apparently having combed her hair. And, my mother was quick to point out, my shirt was not only wrinkled, but "embarrassing."
Once I ditched the kids, I was free to roll into work in our sweet minivan, so it was all worth it. I put the swagger in swagger wagon.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
For those of you who won't be reading the autobiography of Megadeth front man Dave Mustaine, (who am I kidding, none of you will read it) I'll share the best part:
"Everyone had long hair in those days, with the exception of the punk bands. In hard rock and heavy metal, hair was long, and within that framework a decision was to be made:
Up or down.
You were either like Page and Plant (hair down, and thus cool) or you were like KISS, Mötley Crüe and so many other imitators (hair up, and thus not so cool). My hair went down. Always did, always will."
You can read my full review here.
Saturday, October 09, 2010
ME: Curtis, do you want to move over to those other seats so we can see the show?
CURTIS: A show? I wanna watch Dora.
Our life is filled with disappointment.
Friday, October 08, 2010
Thursday, October 07, 2010
Monday, October 04, 2010
Weezer - Hurley Not quite as a solid as "Raditude" (a record I dearly love), but still ultra-catchy.
Brandon Flowers - Flamingo It's just like a Killers album, only more countrified.
The Thermals - Personal Life If you like garage punk where the singer just yells at you (and who doesn't?), you won't be disappointed.
Weezer - Ruling Me
Brandon Flowers - Crossfire
The Thermals - Never Listen to Me