Temporary Change

I have redirected this site to http://www.sutherlandmanifesto.com/blog/blog.htm. Head there for new postings!

Lists, Lists, Lists!

If you love lists - like my wife, Traci likes list - you'll love this!

Cake Is the Devil

My review of the recent Cake concert will be up shortly, but until then you can read an essay on why Cake is actually the devil.

Rivers Cuomo and World Domination

Apparently everyone in the world has a site on myspace.com. I bumped into a site by Rivers Cuomo the other day. (If you don’t know who that is, you probably don’t like Weezer and this will be really uninteresting to you)

Rivers posted his re-entry application to Harvard, where he recounts a very personal history of his work with Weezer. It is incredibly interesting. You can check it out here.

Cake - Club Suede

Cake
Club Suede

Cake is at the top of my list of "Bands I Love that I Still Haven't Seen in Concert." You can only imagine how happy I was when Neal Baugh tipped me off to a virtually unannounced Cake performance in Park City.

We - Ty McHenry, Neal and me - headed up through the almost impenetrable fog to make it to Club Suede for the 8 p.m. start time. Despite the weather-related delays we made it to the club right on time - right on time meaning we got there at 8 p.m. and quickly found out that Cake would be taking the stage at 11 p.m.

They were worth the wait. Clad in a hunter-orange zipup hoodie and trucker hat, John McCrea and his acoustic guitar started off the show with "Daria." The band quickly kicked in - the rhythm section was tight, the guitars were smokin' and Vince DiFiore took care of the trumpet, keyboards, back up vocals and various percussion. When not wielding his guitar, McCrea pointed his vibra slap at the crowd like a weapon.

(this is a vibra slap)

Cake sounded just as good in real life as they do on record. I tried keep count how many times McCrea sang "Oh no-s" or "Alright-s," but lost track after the first song.

The band played songs from each of their five albums, with the majority coming from 1996's Fashion Nugget. [A complete set list is included below] The only slow points in the evening came during the extended singalongs - the audience was recruited as back-up singers during the expletive call-and-response of "Nugget" and the anti-cell phone anthem "No Phone."

It wasn't surprising that a band whose lyrics are full of irony and sarcasm left their biggest radio hits - "The Distance," "Rock and Roll Lifestyle" and "Short Skirt/Long Jacket" - off of the set list. Fortunately, Cake has so many great songs that those three weren't really missed. Highlights of evening included: "Frank Sinatra," "Comfort Eagle" and a very unexpected track from Motorcade of Generosity, "Come Comanche."

Cake ended its encore with "I Will Survive," a song that McCrea dubbed the anthem of "Angry Black Women factions, Gay Men factions, European Soccer Player factions, and even Angry White Guy factions."

The opening act was The Ditty Bops. I don't really know how to describe them. It's two girls that play the guitar and mandolin, backed by an upright bass player, a violinist and an organ man. The ladies were wearing matching black corsets, with one girl in a pink and the other in a green tutu. They played music I figure you might do the lindy-hop to (I don't really know what the lindy-hop is) or some dance that our grandparents used to do. They were talented, but a bit out-there for me. Go here to listen to their music. "Sister Kate" is a good example of how they sounded live.

Their music was not engaging enough to distract me from the creepy (but not too creepy that I could stop watching) scene happening next to me -- a 20-year-old boy repeatedly licking his forty-year-old girlfriend. Disgusting. It was like "Harold and Maude" in real life.

Complete Set List, By Album

Motorcade of Generosity

• Comanche
• Is This Love

Fashion Nugget

• Daria
• Nugget
• I will survive
• Stickshifts and Safety Belts
• Frank Sinatra

Prolonging the Magic

• Never There
• Sheep Go to Heaven

Comfort Eagle

• Comfort Eagle
• Love You Madly

Pressure Chief

• Wheels
• No Phone

*plus one country cover song that I didn't know

LoveSac Infiltrates The OC

Alex...she's not just for boys anymore!


Oh, so much twisted action on The OC last night—drunken fighting, lesbian love affairs, people being swept away by the Pacific Ocean. Despite all of the action, I was most shocked by the appearance of two “puppy fur” LoveSacs in the Cohen house. Whether it’s The Rebel Billionaire, Fox 13 News or now The OC, it is nearly impossible to avoid Shawn Nelson on Fox. I guess I’m going to have to give in and switch to the WB. One Tree Hill, here I come!

For all of you OC haters, here’s just a small portion of what you missed last night (taken from the episode guide on the show’s website):

“Ryan takes Lindsay on a walk down the beach to get some fresh air. He leaves her by the water to grab some coffee and when he returns all he sees is a floating shoe. He dives into the water, yelling for her... but she’s nowhere in sight. Suddenly Seth comes out and starts yelling too. “Ryan, what are you doing?!” Seth assures Ryan that Lindsay’s fine. She’s passed out in Alex’s office. A frustrated and wet Ryan heads into the office and finds Marissa taking care of her. Marissa offers to drive Lindsay home but Ryan thinks she’s done enough for one night. Marissa claims innocence but Ryan isn’t buying it. “Right, it was Lindsay’s idea to pound straight vodka and pass out.” Actually, it was. Ryan yells a little more then he and Seth take off.”

Emotion is My Middle Name

My friend Scott and I ventured out of the safety of the suburbs last night to follow the bright lights of the big city. My homie Garrett “G-Rock” Anderson’s band, Never Tried Stopping, was playing at Kilby Court—a shack in downtown SLC. These days I don’t get out to a lot of shows (and next-to-no local shows) so I was happy to be able to support Garrett and check out the “scene.”

Oh, how things have changed. Gone are the days of local kids playing in punk bands, it's emo or nothing. The first band we saw was Anesty. They were pretty tight, had good skills, but there was just something a little uncomfortable about the extreme level of emoting going on. It’s one thing to listen to a Death Cab CD, but to see 18-year-old’s being so sensitive in a little shack on a Wednesday night, I just don’t know. Maybe that’s a musical generation gap. (I have since learned that Anesty represent much better in their recordings--check out their site, listed above)

The next band, Tear, earned the distinction of creepiest band of the evening. A little bit of visual: Guitar player—at least 7 feet tall, maybe180 pounds, tight tee-shirt, big JNCO-type jeans. A bit uncomfortable for him, logistically speaking, since he had to hunch over as to not hit his head on the Kilby Court ceiling. The singer was nearly the same height. He had long, black hair, some eye liner and was rocking a long-sleeve, black, mesh shirt. He went from whispering, the screaming, to writhing on the floor--all in a very lovely falsetto. Highlight dialogue (in a very high, soft, voice): “Yeah, uh, that song just came to us like two weeks ago. It’s pretty rough around the edges. Just wait, though. When we get it done it’s going to be pretty bad ass.”

Thankfully, Never Tried Stopping was a bit less dramatic. The four-piece took a more punk approach, quickly pounding through their numbers. NTS also led the crowd in the first sing-along of the night, their shoutable anthem “Never the End.” The band was pretty tight, despite losing some momentum with their slower songs. All in all, a good performance. Their debut LP will be available sooner or later, but until then a few of their tracks can be found here.

Chapstick 1, Spencer Nuthin.

So here it is, like 45 minutes since my last lip balm-related posting. I couldn’t take it any longer; I gave up and walked over to the Campus Bookstore.

Oh, fate’s cruel hand. I looked around the bookstore, but couldn’t find Chapstick anywhere! I walked around the whole place—nothing. Magazines, candy, pens, even hammers—but no lip balm.

I was nearly reduced to asking an employee-like an idiot-if they had any, when I spotted some behind the counter. Pretty slim selection—original or cinnamon. “That’s all you’ve got?” I asked. “They’ve got more around the corner at the Quick Stop." Yes.

I am now back from the Quick Stop, where I found some mint-flavored Blistex. My pride is a bit bruised, but my lips feel medicated, moisturized and SPF 15-protected.

No More Chapstick—Day 4

I think it was on my mission that I heard that using lip balm actually makes your lips stop producing its natural moisture. I am a frequent Chapstick user myself and I can’t get enough of that refreshing mint flavor.

I recently used up my last little tube and made a life-changing decision—NO MORE CHAPSTICK! That’s right, I’m in control of mine own lip moisturization now! I’ve gone cold turkey.

Day 1 went okay, and my lips actually felt great. Day 2 went good as well and I honestly thought I was going to make it. Unfortunately, now I’m not so sure. I’m starting to crack—literally and figuratively. The lips are sore and I am trying to compensate in the worst possibly way—licking my lips! I want that Chapstick so bad!

According to Men’s Health Magazine, it’s just an urban myth that lip balm really dries up your lips. Should I give in and just buy some more? Or is Men’s Health in on conspiracy as well? Dilemma, dilemma.

She Spies Have Their Priorities Straight

The Weekend came to a climactic close--watching "She Spies" at midnight on Sunday. What better way to prepare for the upcoming week than by watching a television series about 3 beautiful ex-cons who are allowed to get out of prison early if they will work as government secret agents?

I'll tell you what could be better--when DD (my favorite She Spy) puts a kung-fu rescue mission on hold by saying, "Hang on, I've got to update my blog!" Yes! Thatta girl!

It may be the lamest (and therefore best) thing on late night television. I love it. All I want to do now is karate kick my coworkers!

christmas tree genocide

The holidays are officially over when you take down the Christmas tree and turn off the Christmas lights on your house. It then becomes time to shove all of your decorations back in boxes and hide them somewhere in the bowels of your house where you'll never find them again next year when you need them.

Last week we borrowed my Grandpa's truck so we could take our tree over to the park to be "recycled"--i.e. made into compost.

We pulled up to the parking lot, I got out of the truck, grabbed the tree and chucked in on the pile. That was that. When I got back in, I saw that Traci had a very troubled look on her face.

"What?" I asked.

"It's just so sad."

"What's so sad?"

"All of those trees. We use the tree for a month and then just throw it away. A pile of trees that nobody loves anymore."

I guess next year Traci won't be allowed to go with me to get rid of the tree. Any suggestions on how to deal with post-tree-partum depression?

Drive Thru America

I really haven't had much to blog about lately. I started at my new job on Monday and I thought that would give me a lot to write about, but alas, such is not the case.

Illustrating the funk in which I currently sit, the most noteworthy accomplishment as of late was finally finishing Drive Thru America by Sean Condon last night.

Condon wrote a novel called My 'Dam Life about the three years that he spent living in Amsterdam that I absolutely loved. I was so amused by it that I decided to check out Condon's other travel adventures, one about driving across Australia and this one, about driving across America.

Drive Thru America, the book, was quite representative of America, the country--interesting on each of the edges, but kind of boring in the Middle. Austrialians Condon and his buddy David rent a car in New York, drive down the east coast, through the south, head through the Southwest over to California and then fly up to Seattle.

It is on the coasts where actual story lines occur--the rest of the book is merely a journal of what you see in America with Australian eyes. In New York Condon finds a Bible on a subway seat and decides to track down the person who left it there. After traveling to South Carolina (or somewhere like that) to give it to the owner he finds that the Bible had been put there as a memorial to a deceased ex-girlfriend. When he gives the book to the parents they say, "Every year [the boyfriend] puts one of her belongings in some public place and some nice person contacts us and returns it to us." Weird.

In Los Angeles Condon meets a crazy old blind man in a bar who gives him $800 to deliver a letter to an address in Seattle. He agrees. As Condon walks up to the address he decides to open the letter (against the old man's instructions) and reads that it was just a hoax. He walks into the backyard and the entire lawn is covered with similar letters.

I have just told the two most interessing parts of the book, and thus have saved you the trouble of reading the book yourself. I will be accepting "thank you" cards.

Your Future is No Longer My Future

After five years of saying, “Hi, what’s your account number,” my days as a teller have officially ended.  Last week I said goodbye to Cyprus Credit Union in order to begin a full-time position at Salt Lake Community College.

My job at the Credit Union was more than just a job because a lot of landmark life events took place while I worked there, I:

1. Graduated From High School

2. Went to College—USU           

3. Went on a Mission

4. Went to a different College—BYU

5. Worked at the Olympics for a month

6. Went to a different College—U of U

7. Got engaged

8. Got married

9. Went back to Holland

10. Graduated College

Though I have done a lot of other things since I started in 1997, Cyprus has always been part of my life.  Regardless of where I was living, where I was going to school or what other job I had, I was always still working at Cyprus. I've experienced a lot of interesting things during my time as a teller. I have:

• Been Robbed
• Been Suckered into hearing about a pyramid scheme at my house
• Seen a lady get busted for meth possession and had to deposit the drug money confiscated from her underwear
• Broken a drive-thru lane by shooting pens and cassette tapes out of it, instead of the tube

Despite those adventures, my last day was just like any other day.  I came in, sat down and then helped the same people I help everyday (the average Cyprus member comes in about 5-7 times per week, I’m not kidding). 

At about 4 p.m. a member got extremely upset with me on the phone.  On the one hand it bummed me out that I had to deal with such a jerk on my last day, but it also made it easier to think, “Huh, I won’t have to deal with that again tomorrow.”

When 5:30 p.m. rolled around, I packed up my meager belongings: my name plate, the sandwiches in the fridge that I forgotten to eat the previous day and a stack of old Rolling Stone magazines. 

“Well, it’s been real.  Really real,” I said to my co-workers.  That was about it.

I walked out into the world of grown-up jobs. There's no turning back now.

The (Abridged) History of Twelfth of Never

I got a little upset the other day. I was surfing the net and I found a band called Twelfth of Never. I think it's a death rocker band. I always wondered if our name sounded more metal than our music. Such a great name. We've had it for years. It's very frustrating to me.

In 1996 I was walking up the stairs at Chris Wilson's parents' house. We had considered a bunch of different names for our band--the Incredible Shriking Head wasn't doing it for us. Chris asked me, "When are we going to be good?" Out of frustration I answered "The twelfth...of NEVER!" The perfect name was created.

Anyhoo, we had the name back in '95. I'm sure there was probably someone who had it before then, but at least we had it in '96.

The twelfth of never got going when I played on a baseball team with Chris. Chris was the only kid in the league that held his baseball pants up with a weaved leather belt. He was taking guitar lesson and thought about Nirvana every waking second of the day. Since I had been playing in a band called Pet Virus, that was famous for its covers of Nirvana's "Polly" and "Today" by Smashing Pumpkins at junior high band concerts, Chris was very interested in getting together. There was another kid on the team, Nick Hansen, that had a drumset. Our Nirvana cover band was officially formed. top

Chris played the guitar, I played bass, Nick played drums and we played a lot of Nirvana. Nick left his drumset at Chris's during the week and within a few weeks Chris was better at the drums than Nick. From that point Nick got tossed out of the band and there were about a million different people that played with Chris and me.

Rhett, bass player extraordinaire, joined the band in the fall of '95, making the the twelfth of never lineup solid and potent. It was this configuration that created nearly all of the material written for the band's first album, Grkn, which was recorded in '96.

A little bit before the album happened, Dave Updike joined the band as the second guitarist. When Rhett was forced to move to California, Dave filled in as the makeshift bass player. All of the plans were set for Rhett to fly back in for our recording sessions, but ended up not making it. Chris played all of the bass parts on the record.

The band stayed strong through '97. Dave's energy for the band fizzled away as he suffered from high school senoritis. Chris and I spent the summer of '97 playing 2-man shows, just guitar and drums after we became acquainted with the punk rock world.

Seeing SLC Punx like Homesick and Hospital Food made the D-I-Y ethics become reality for us. We finally had a different rock and roll model than that the one Kurt Cobain had created for us. And that's when the music started to change...

left foot forward

...I fell in love with ska the first time I saw a Stretsch Armstronng show. Everything changed for me. I went to a Ska Patrick's day show with Skankin' Pickle, the Aquabats, Dance Hall Crashers, and Stretsch. I was amazed by how much fun the bands were having. The crowd was dancing, everyone seemed to really be enjoying themselves.

Chris hated ska. He hated everything about it. However, once we saw kids our age playing punk and ska it changed how he felt about it. I was really anxious to give it a shot. With Rhett gone, and Dave gone off to college, we decided that we needed a bass player.

Ryan Courtright, bass man, fix-it guy, tuba player, entered the mix. The Ryan Courtright period was the start of a new era. We started playing ska/punk which led to us trying out our hand at real ska. We put together a rudimentary horn section.

We couldn't be the twelfth of never anymore. It wasn't the same music or the same deal at all. We weren't playing Tonight We Die at shows, so it was time for a new name. We were also the ORIGINAL Left foot Forward. Born in 1998.

It was about ten times harder to work with a band double the size of the original group, but the music created a very positive energy. We were a part of the ska scene during the six months when ska ruled the world. It was great.

Everything goes away. Before I moved to college we recorded the Thug Life EP with half-hearted goals of sending it out to record labels. We should have recorded all of our material while we were in the studio, just so we could have had it. Left foot Forward faded away. 

Travoltas - The High School Reunion

I have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of The High School Reunion, the latest release by the Dutch surf-pop-punkers, the Travoltas.  I was a bit nervous when it arrived in the mail because all of my favorite artists have done nothing but let me down lately.  Click here for a list of disappointing albums. 

On first listen, all of my worst fears came true.  It seemed devoid of the catchy hooks that make the Travoltas so good.  Being a huge fan, I refrained from writing anything until I gave it a few more listens.  I am glad that I did. 

If you are unfamiliar with the Travoltas, let me try to explain their sound—it’s the punk version of the Beach Boys, sung in English by native Dutch speakers, mixed with some ‘80s electronic pop.

High School Reunion is a nostalgic album about what happened in high school and what’s happened since.  The title track is about how all of the glory days of high school—quarterbacks and cheerleading captains—all fade away [The irony is that the Travoltas come from a country where neither quarterbacks nor cheerleaders exist].

This album is much more keyboard-driven than their previous records.  The techno beats on “(All We Want is) Rock ‘n Roll” are very cool, but on other tracks the keyboards seem incredibly cheesy i.e. the incredibly pointless instrumental ditty “At the Arcade.” 

There is also a cover of Peter Schilling’s 80s hit “Major Tom.”  I was a bit confused why a Dutch group would cover an English song, but sing it in German.  I guess I’m not up on my 80s trivia; I did a little research and found that the song was originally released in German.  This is a fitting cover for the Travoltas, but it still seems to be a strange choice to do it German, when the rest of their material is in English.

THE SKINNY: Not as good as their last release, Endless Summer, but still a very good listen.  Definitely recommended.

Brit (Chic) Lit Recommendations

They may have bad teeth and tried to tax us without representation, but they sure write great stories! Here are some great reads from the Motherland.

Shopaholic Series by Sophie Kinsella

There are now four books about everyone's favorite Shopaholic, Becky Bloomwood Brandon. She is like all of your inner-shopping tendencies rolled into one person-- just ignoring credit card payments and justifying purchases through some crazy logic that only makes sense in the realms of the mall.

In the first book, Confessions of a Shopaholic, we meet Becky in all of her debt-laden glory--working at a financial magazine, no less.

In the second book, Shopaholic Takes Manhattan, Becky moves to the shopping Mecca of New York City with her handsome, dashing, wealthy PR advisor boyfriend, Luke. She enters the world of actually doing something she likes as a job-- shopping, of course. Or rather helping others shop.

In the third book, Shopaholic Ties the Knot, you can pretty much guess what happens. But, by now you know that nothing in Becky's life can happen without lots of complications due to her shopping and shopping-related issues, and her wedding is no exception.

In the most recent book of the series, Shopaholic and Sister, Becky finds out she has a long lost sister. She thinks this means that they will be instant best friends and shopping buddies- wrong!

I think the first two books in the series are the best, and the rest get progressively more silly, (all I have to say is, hiking a mountain in the rain in heels to save your sister, who doesn't need to be saved equals silly) but you have to keep reading them once you've started because it's a series!!

Can You Keep a Secret by Sophie Kinsella

Sophie Kinsella also has another non-Shopaholic book as well, which I loved!! It's called Can You Keep a Secret? It is yet another look at life as a twenty-something career girl in London, and all of the witty humor that goes along with it. If you are crazy (like me) you will probably laugh out loud as you read about Emma Corrigan's life, embarrassing moments and relationships. Unfortunately, I even laughed out loud as I was reading it at the gym, so now I think people at the Murray Rec Center say "There's that crazy girl who laughs out loud on the stationary bike." Oh well. I think this book is worth it.

Girl's Night In by Various Authors

Not everyone who contributed to this short story series is British, but I think the majority of them are, and even the ones who aren't write like they are. You can just skip their stories if you think they are boring, like I did.

Usually, I don't really like short stories, but these are good because they have all of the elements of British Lit in lots of different forms. This book includes short stories by Sophie Kinsella, Anna Maxted, and fsecrSarah Mlynowski (who I had previously tried to read, but I didn't like her stuff, but now because of her short story I will give it another try.)

If you don't like chic lit about relationships and other sappy stuff, stay far away from this book. Every single short story is about some relationship ending, or beginning and everything funny and pathetic that goes along with it! If you are just venturing into this genre of writing, read this first, because it will give you a good idea of what authors to check out next.

And of course, we can't forget the goddess of British Chic lit, Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding. I have like nothing in common with Bridget, but reading this book made me laugh so hard- all three times I read it (or listened to it.) This was my first exposure to British Chic lit and is still the best. Although the Georgia Nicholson series by Louise Rennison ( which I previously reviewed) also makes me laugh. It's more for younger chics, though, since the main character is like 14 in the first book, but is still really funny. A warning though- I think the first books in the series are better than the most recent- after a little while, some things are just too annoying.

CHEERIO and Happy Reading!