Errors in Communication...

For those of you who have ever gotten a haircut that you didn't ask for...

Errors in Communication Between My Hairdresser and Me,in the Form of What I Said and What He Heard.
BY JEZ BURROWS [from McSweeny's]
- - - -
"Just a little off the length, and a little thinned out?"
"Could you make me look like a clown's apprentice?"
- - - -
"A little shorter, thanks."
"I want the style that would emerge if you combined all three of Charlie's Angels."
- - - -
"Just the usual—little shorter and thinner."
"You know when you have a bubble bath and you shape it all around your head? I want it like that."
- - - -
"If you could take some of the width off, that'd be great."
"If you could make it hard for me to appear in public, that'd be great."
- - - -
"Of course it isn't OK—you've disfigured me beyond repair. I look like a mushroom."
"That's perfect. Take my money."