Real Rip-Off

Spencer is full of rage thanks to his experience with buying tickets to Saturday night's Real Salt Lake game.

Click here to read the longest Rant in Manifesto history.

May Consumption

Music

Weezer - Make Believe
Eels - Blinking Lights and Other Revelations
Styrofoam - The Point Misser
Styrofoam - A Short Album About Murder
Styrofoam - I'm What There's to Show that there's Something Missing
Pinback - Summer at Abaddon
Pinback - This is a Pinback CD
Electric Six - Fire
Peter Gabriel - Hit
Beck - Guero
Hot Hot Heat - Knock Knock Knock
The Polyphonic Spree - Together We're Heavy
Strung Out - The Elements of Sonic Defiance
Fiery Furnaces - Gallowsbird Bark
Alkaline Trio - Crimson
The Starting Line - Based on a True Story
Iron & Wine - Our Endless Numbered Days
Iron & Wine - The Sea & The Rhythm EP

Books

Couch World by Cathy Yardley
Bright Lights Big City by Jay McInerney
Bush on the Couch by Justin A. Frank

I hate Ashlee Simpson!

I hate that Ashlee Simpson. Even after her infamous lip-syncing incident on SNL, apparently she still dries her tears on hundred dollar bills. According to an article on MSN, the superstar singer will sing at your private party, charging a measly $35,000 per song. I can't wait until my birthday party!

Professor Frink, He'll Make You Laugh, He'll Make You Think

We are all becoming robots. From slashdot.org:

Nicholas Roussos writes "Futurologist Dr. Ian Pearson predicts that death will be avoidable in the year 2050 by downloading your brain to a computer. Unfortunately, he is also predicting that the process will be only available to the wealthy for years after its release. I guess we should all start saving our pennies now."

Somehow I feel like I've heard this before. Oh yes, it was from an episode of the Simpons:

Apu: I enrolled in Springfield Heights Institute of Technology under the tutelage of the brilliant Professor John Frink...

Frink: Well, sure, the Frinkiac-7 looks impressive, don't touch it, but I predict that within 100 years, computers will be twice as powerful, 10,000 times larger, and so expensive that only the five richest kings of Europe will own them.

Apu: Could it be used for dating?

Frink: Well, theoretically, yes. But the computer matches would be so perfect as to eliminate the thrill of romantic conquest. Mw-hurgn-whey.

Concerts to Get Even Lamer!!

A few weeks ago, I expressed my confusion at cell phones at concerts. Well, apparently it's going to get worse before it gets better:

From engadget:

Most big shows have those large screens up so the folks in the nosebleed section can still watch the concert on the teevee whilst still pretending they’ve gotten their $80 worth. Now you’ll be able to send SMS to that teevee and really get your money’s worth by communicating your deepest inner longings to the rest of the crowd, and bond over your communally shared experience (”lIk brittney iz lIk so totally hot, dudz”) thanks to Boomerang Mobile Media’s partnership with Strategic Artists Management. About to get its first launch in the U.S. on Clay Aiken’s summer tour, the concept was tested out on a promotional tour for Anastacia in Europe, where ten percent of the attendees forked over 1 euro each for the privilege of seeing their own names up in lights and sending marriage proposals to the pop star. The other half of the equation in this partnership is making concert merchandise available for one-click purchase via cellphone. And the net result, as you might have guessed, is quite a bit of bling for Boomerang.

Well, at least my 17-year-old sister-in-law will be excited. She sleeps with her cell phone next to head in case anyone has to text message her in the middle of the night.

White Trash Love

Again, I need a camera phone. While driving to lunch today I saw a unique scene of love: an old man, probably in his late 60s, with a really long, dirty, white beard driving through the parking lot behind Burger King on his Jazzy wheelchair. His wife (I'm assuming) was sitting on his lap with her arms around his neck. Talk about a sweet ride.

Words of Wisdom: It's Not a Booger

I was hanging out with my two nephews this past weekend. Seth, who is three years old, was showing me the snail he and my mom had put into a glass mason jar earlier in the week. Looking at the jar, you could see the underside of the snail suctioning itself to the glass.

"That's pretty gross," I said.

Seth looked up at me. "Don't worry. It's not a booger. It's a snail."

This is what the Government is For

First we have Congress vs. Major League Baseball's Steroid Problem and now we have The U.S. Government vs. American Idol.

Corey Clark (a.k.a. the black Kevin Federline) claims that during his time on American Idol he was both hooking up with Paula Abdul as well as getting the hookup from her - tips on how to dress, what songs to sing, etc. to improve his chances of winning the competition.

From today's AP:

Richard B. Jefferson [Clark's lawyer] said the 24-year-old singer hasn't expressed "any plans to voluntarily reveal additional incriminating evidence, which he possesses, to the general public that undoubtedly proves the extent of their involvement because of its explicit nature."
However, in an e-mail to The Associated Press Monday, Jefferson said Clark would "fully cooperate with any governmental agency that launches an investigation stemming from his claims."

Yep, that's all we need - a governmental agency investigating what's really happening on American Idol. That would definitely be the most effective use of time and taxpayer dollars. If there is an investigation, I hope they will find out where Randy Jackson bought that leather jacket.

Kylie Has Breast Cancer

Pop superstar, and Spencer's personal favorite diva, Kylie Minogue, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Read the full story here.

(Thanks Nilay for the heads up)

The Beautiful People, the Beautiful People

I don't know why I waited so long to write about this. Utah's cutest kidnappee, Elizabeth Smart has been named one of People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People of 2005.

I loved the comments from the always-creepy Ed Smart:

"It's a nice thing to have happen to her at this time," said her father, Ed Smart. "She was, of course, surprised. It was great for her self-image."

Yep, high school can be rough and awkward. Especially if you are the only one in the class who has been kidnapped by a self-proclaimed prophet. Having the whole world see her on this list of beautiful people and ask "Why is she on here?" should do wonders for her self-image. Time to repress some more memories.

Let's not forget when Timmy O'Toole fell down the well on The Simpsons in 1992:

Homer: That Timmy is a real hero!
Lisa: How do you mean, Dad?
Homer: Well, he fell down a well, and... he can't get out.
Lisa: How does that make him a hero?
Homer: Well, that's more than you did!

Drop it likes it hot, drop it like it's hot

Are there any dream interpreters in the house? I had an interesting one the other night. I was my current age, but yet I was at a Murray High School football game. While I was there I found out that Snoop Dogg was going to be performing the next night. I saw him walking around at the game and I approached him. We talked for a bit and I found him to be very cool and enjoyable.

The next day I went back to MHS to see his performance in the gym. He was down on the basketball court rapping. I was standing up at the top of the bleachers and he ran up to give me a high-five. Then, between songs he told me not be embarrassed, to go ahead and take off my hoodie and be proud of the fact that I was wearing a t-shirt that said, “I’m on the Honor Roll.”

What’s the dizzle with that?

Hansel...He's So Hot Right Now!

Thanks to a marketing assignment at SLCC, I attended my first fashion show last week. The theme of the show was "creating clothing reminiscent of scandalous 18th century France." I was pretty excited about this because, just the other day as I was looking in my closet I thought, "Geez, I wish I had something with just a hint of 18th century France. "

Unfortunately, the clothing wasn't as inspiring as I had hoped. The evening wasn't a complete loss, though. The fashion show program (shown above, check out the girl in the middle) inspired me to go for a new look:



Derek Zoolander Beware: There's a new male model in town!

Spencer's Letter to the Fox Broadcasting Company

Dear Fox,

I know that I was a bit angry last week. I got upset that instead of showing the OC after the President's social security speech you ran re-runs of the Simpsons and Seinfeld.

I just wanted to let you know that running back-to-back new episodes of the OC last night completely made up for it. Two straight hours of drama - Seth wearing blue blockers and getting beat up by the Christian college students, Kirsten hitting the bottle, Trey turning into a dirtbag, Marissa going crazy, new bad girl Jess snorting coke off of the coffee table - extraordinary!

I'm sorry, Fox. Sometimes you just make me mad. What with all of the crap I put up with (Life on a Stick, Pamela Anderson's show Stacked), cancelling an episode of the OC can just push me over the edge. But it's cool. I'm mean, we're still cool, Fox. We're homeys. We're down. S'all good.

Stream the New Weezer

You can stream Weezer's new record Make Believe on their Myspace page.

Taking Back Sunday & Caught in a Generational Gap

I am 25 years old and I feel like I am caught in the middle of a culture gap. I went to the Taking Back Sunday/Jimmy Eat World concert last night at the E Center. I think I have already come to terms with the idea that at 25 I am going to be one of the oldest people at most of the shows I go to, but last night added a new element to my level of concert discomfort.

Back in the 70s and 80s, playing a ballad at a concert resulted in a swaying crowd and raised lighters. In the 90s (my glory days) concerts were stripped down and rockers rebelled against many of these rituals. However, as I found out last night, a new generation has come of age.

Near the end of Taking Back Sunday's set, screamo heart throbs Adam Lazzaro and Fred Mascherino played an acoustic version of their ballad, "New American Classic." Little lights started glowing all around me. They weren't coming from lighters, but rather from hundreds of cell phones. Arms were raised and white, green, blue, and pink screens swayed in the darkened theatre.

It was such an emotional experience that, I like totally wanted to text message of all of my friends right then!!! I am just searching for the right emoticon to express how I am feeling right now.

My First Podcast

Hooray! Though it took me entire day to create a 22 minute radio show, it was worth it. You can listen to my podcast here.

April Consumption

Music

DJ Tiesto - In Search of Sunrise 2
Queens of the Stone Age - Lullabies to Paralyze
Joseph Arthur - Our Shadows Remain
Hot Hot Heat - Elevator
Eels - Blinking Lights and Other Revelations
Millencolin - Kingwood
Sara & Tegan -
Low - Things We Lost in the Fire
Hot Rod Circuit - Reality is Coming Through
Thursday - War all the Time
Garden State Soundtrack