Caution: "Retard's" on the Loose

There's nothing classier than picking fights with a 13-year-old autistic boy. But apparently some Nephi residents were so sick of their autistic neighbor bugging them and getting into their stuff that they decided the only way to address the problem was to spray paint a giant that says "CAUTION, RETARD'S IN AREA." (My favorite part is the incorrect use of an apostrophe.)

Here's the link to the whole story.

Though this is sad social commentary, it does make me think of one of my favorite tee shirts , which also uses incorrect grammar.



From the tee shirt's description:

"I guess this shirt is a booby trap for wannabe grammar police. "Hey", they'll whine, "did you know that your shirt uses the possessive 'your' when it should use the contraction 'you're'?" At which point you'll shake your head, mutter the words on your shirt, and walk away."

Which then makes me think of my favorite Napoleon Dynamite quote from Rex, owner of Rex Kwon Do, "Grab my arm. The other arm. My other arm. Okay, now watch this. I'm just gonna break the wrist and walk away. Break the wrist, walk away."

Mutter the words and walk away. Break the wrist, walk away. It's all the same.

"We're Country"

Cutest baby in the world? Hands down.

Last weekend, Paige rode on a four-wheeler for the first time. Yep, an eight-month-old baby on an ATV. It's no biggie, "we're country." Though this was Paige's second trip to my grandpa's ranch, it was her first real visit. She got to drive very slowly on the four-wheeler with grandma (she looked forward, emotionless; she may as well have been in the stroller), she got to the watch everyone play in the pond and she got to see her cousin Nathan get stung by a bee right on the mouth. His lip swelled up so big he looked like a little Angelina Jolie.

I, meanwhile, continued to struggle with my quest to conquer the barbecue. I thought I had really done a good job on the burgers this time. I had just taken them off the grill on the porch when I went to step inside of the cabin to grab some ketchup. A giant gust of wind came blowing through and the burgers went sailing into the air and then crash landed on the cement porch. All that work down the drain.

On a positive note, outdoor enthousiast Traci and I are getting more succesful in our inflatable raft paddling skills. I've got the picture to prove it (somewhere).

July Raves

July 4, 2006

MUSIC

Dashboard Confessional

Chris Carabba certainly understands his audience.  Not only is he selling his new record Dusk and Summer for just $10 bucks but if you show your student ID when you buy it at lousy Best Buy, you get it for $7 (you will have to convince the cashier of this, though).  Dashboard isn’t something I would normally run out and buy from a store, but I thought it was a cool idea.  Note to the record industry: people will buy CDs if you offer them at a reasonable price. 

The Cardinal Sin

Also hailing from the Windy City, The Cardinal Sin share the same raw sound and intensity as early Alkaline Trio.  I was so immediately drawn to their music when I heard them on purevolume that I work tirelessly to track down their first full-length Hurry Up and Wait.  

I couldn’t find it at any of my usual locations so I ended up buying it off of half.com.  Other than the outstanding Eye Opener, there aren’t really a lot of standout tracks, but it’s a really solid album.

SPORTS

World Cup Soccer

Though I suffered some mild depression when Holland lost to Portugal (once again), the World Cup is still exciting – and I’m not even a soccer guy.  Who says you can’t be thoroughly entertained by 120 minutes of scoreless action?  I’ve got tickets for the Real Madrid vs. Real Salt Lake exhibition in August, but it looks like the great David Beckham may not even be making the trip thanks to his injury against Portugal. 

BOOKS

An Ordinary Man

If you haven’t seen Hotel Rwanda, you should.  If you have seen it, you should read An Ordinary Man, the autobiography of Paul Rusesabagina, the man on whom the movie was based.  Rusesabagina explains how and why the Rwandan genocide went down, including sectarian violence, corrupt politicians and outsiders who were unwilling to stop it from happening.  Though it the book was based on the 1994 events it couldn’t be more applicable to current conflicts.

TELEVISION

VH1’s Supergroup

Without going into an entire dissertation, here’s why only has-been celebrities should be on reality TV shows.  Though you get the mega-exposure that you had (or always wanted to have) when you were in your prime, you also always kind of end up looking like an idiot. 

Sebastian Bach was so incredibly cool when he was in Skid Row.  Now he may be the whiniest, most annoying TV personality on the planet.  Even my sister, a die-hard Bach supporter, has given up on the show because he is so annoying.  “He has officially ruined the ‘rock on’ devil horns," she says.  But it does make for great television.

If you can get over the embarrassingly awkward moments of Bach telling the PR team that he has a top 20 hit (“I Remember You” on the newest Monster Ballads CD), him crying about his dad or drunkenly telling Anthrax’s Scott Ian that he loves him and that he'll never play with another guitar player (um, they are going to be in a band together for 12 days), you'll be glued. 

Hot Like a Robot

It's 12:48 a.m. and I just got home from our show at Todd's Bar & Grill. I think we redeemed ourselves after our mighty dive at Burt's on Tuesday night. Once again, Mike the dirty promoter didn't give us any money, but we did make $50 off of t-shirts sales. So, all y'all who bought shirts, many thanks. (For those of you who want shirts, email me and I can get you hooked up.)

I think we're done with the bar scene. Johnny Tightlips is going where the kids are - the all-ages shows. As long as we continue to make no money playing at crappy bars late at night we might as well be playing the early shows and not dying of second-hand smoke. I hope to see you guys at Kilby Court on August 9.

On My Way Home from the Rock Show...

It turns out that I was worried about all the wrong things. I didn't think that anyone was going to come, but quite a few Johnny Tightlips superfans showed up for a 10 p.m. show on a Tuesday night.

I was worried that we were going to screw up all of our new songs, which we did. However, I hadn't thought to worry about the other band deciding that they wanted to play first so they could get in and get out, but then not get around to starting until 11:15.

You can tell that I am rock and roll novice because last night was only the second time we've played past midnight (the other time was also at Burt's Tiki Lounge). We didn't go on until around 11:45. We felt really bad that our friends had all been sitting there, waiting two hours for us to start playing. We hurried to get set up and play as quickly as possible after the other band was finished and cut a few songs off our setlist to keep things moving along.

As we started our set I could feel that it was getting to be past my bedtime. (Poor Aaron had been up since 6 a.m. and would have to be getting up again for work in another few hours.) Everything seemed really rushed, out of tune and really scattered. We limped our way through the set, probably screwing up on 9 songs out of 10.

That's not to say that we didn't have a good time. The audience was great. There was a lot of interaction, including a drunken Burt's employee grabbing the mic and singing our cover of "Your Love" by The Outfield.

The highlight of the evening was when the drunken employees started dancing around with a giant fiberglass skull and then asked Danny to wear the skull (which had no eye holes) on his head while he played the drums. He accepted the challenge and somewhat successfully played one song with it on.

Despite the poor performance, I had a good time hanging out with everyone. I had a good time playing as well, we just sounded like crap. We hope to redeem ourselves on Friday night when we play at Todd's Bar & Grill.

On My Way to the Rock Show...

I'll be heading home from work in a couple of minutes, then it's off to band practice. We're playing tonight at Burt's Tiki Lounge around 10 p.m. I've got the usual anxiety, wondering if we're going to suck, if anyone's going to show up, etc. We haven't played a show in three months and I'm worried we're going to be a bit rusty.

I was pretty excited when we booked the show because we would be opening for touring band Bang Sugar Bang - a band that actually falls into the same broad category of music that we play i.e. not metal, not avant garde/electro whatever, not sad, sad emo music. But we just found out that they cancelled their summer tour after their guitar player busted his hand. So we will be playing with another local band, Spork, who hopefully has a bit of a following.

I hope some folks show up since I've been frantically screenprinting a ton of new shirts and stickers, including my first-ever girlie tees. We're going to be debuting three new songs, hopefully not massacring them. We'll find out in a few hours....

July Consumption

Music

The Bouncing Souls - The Gold Record
Frou Frou - Details
Tool - 10,000 Days
Mae - The Everglow
Sunny Day Real Estate - Diary
Dashboard Confessional - Dusk & Summer
Hot Chip - The Warning
Tegan and Sara - So Jealous
The Format - Interventions and Lullabies
Gym Class Heroes - As Cruel as School Children
Living End - State of Emergency
Good Riddance - My Republic


Books

I am the Messenger by Markus Zusak

Review: Catch 22 Permanent Revolution

Catch 22 
Permanent Revolution

Over its brief history, Catch 22 has asked a lot of its fans, releasing three albums with three different singers (the best being Thomas Kalnoky now of Streetlight Manifesto). Finally offering a bit of consistency, Permanent Revolution, is the second studio album featuring saxophonist Ryan Eldred on vocals.

The band’s last effort, 2003’s Dinosaur Sounds, was so poor it was almost unlistenable. Unfortunately, Eldred doesn’t fare much better this time around. While Eldred is competent on the saxophone, his vocal style could be described as “lounge singer.”

Permanent Revolution is a concept album, detailing the rise and fall of the Bolshevik Revolution. Though it’s a compelling idea, the excitement of the revolution doesn’t really come across in the recording. Even the most up-tempo tracks seem to lag to the speed of Eldred’s lethargic delivery.

About halfway through the album, band and singer finally find the same style, with the unbearable lounge number “Alma Ata (1928).”

I give Catch 22 props for taking on the Bolsheviks and for a slight improvement over their last album. However, I still think this CD is going into the never-get-around-to-listening-to-again pile. Sorry, boys.