I'm Ron Burgundy?

F

Stay classy, Planet Earth.

Every year I say I'm going to wear a Halloween costume to work. And then I, of course, decide I don't want to take the time to actually plan or execute anything. Fortunately Tim, or Brick Tamland as it were, decided we all dress up together and pay homage to our favorite movie, Anchorman.

Everyone knows that the best scene of the movie is when all the different stations get together and have their street fight. [Let's go over the groundrules. Rule number 1: No touching of the hair or face... AND THAT'S IT!]  We figured it would be fitting to use each character's weapon of choice as a prop. 

With a bit of tinfoil, Tim easily refashioned a pitchfork into a trident and Kaleb had no trouble getting Brian Fantana's sword. Josh Burgundy didn't have a couch leg or bedpost or whatever handy, so he settled for a billy club. I thought any local Halloween shop would have the brass knuckles I needed, but alas, no.

Me, to stereotypical girl-who-works-at-Halloween-store: Do you have brass knuckles?

Girl: I'm assuming you mean fake brass knuckles. Because you know brass knuckles are illegal in Utah. [I didn't know that and actually found it a little odd that she did.] Please tell me you mean fake brass knuckles.

At this point, I was pretty sure I had stumbled into a Halloween store that was just a front for illegal brass knuckles. What was I supposed to do now? Was this a situation where I was supposed to say, "Yeah, they're totally illegal, wink wink. I suuure wouldn't know where to look if I was trying to find some."

Instead, I just reponded, "Yeah, I think fake brass knuckles will work just fine."

Girl: Well, we don't have any.

Hmm. Okay. 

Josh noticed that they did sell a nice five-finger "PIMP" ring. He said I could just scrape off the "pimp" and make my own brass knuckles. Ingenious, yes. But who wants to spoil a perfectly good pimp ring? I settled for good ol' fashioned tinfoil and let the viewing public fill in the blanks.

Kaleb was grossed out when he discovered his fake mustache was made with real hair and quite upset when he found it didn't come with any glue or tape. Being the MacGyver that he is, he made it work with a generous application of glue stick to his upper lip. (But paid the price upon removal.)

Jessie woke up sick and nearly missed starring as Veronica Corningstone all together. Realizing that this would have resulted in her permanent ban from work-related friendship, she pulled herself together, plastered her hair down, and took one for the team.

The result? Well, it was more than just the pretty picture seen above. The Channel 4 news team was rewarded with the prestigious honor of 3rd place in the "group costume" division, earning us a $20 gift certificate to a yet-unknown destination. Not $20 each, mind you (we're a nonprofit)--$20 to split amongst the five of us. A just reward.

---

Sex Panther: They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.