Thursday, January 14, 2016

An Evening in a Dead Man's Roller Skates

Paige got roller skates for Christmas. Tonight we decided to learn how to use 'em.

I figured I was a qualified teacher. In junior high, I spent two summers rollerblading every day with my friend Bert. (It was clearly the coolest and most efficient way to travel around the neighborhood, looking for chicks. Duh.) 

My rollerblades were long since given away. Luckily my mom just gave me a pair of roller skates that she found at a deceased neighbor's house. Sweet.

These days, skating rinks rent this little walkers with wheels to help kids to learn to skate. They cost $3.

"Dad," I really think we should get one of those walkers.

"I don't think we need one," replied the dad who had brought his daughter to $1 skate night and saved $2 by bringing his own pair of roller skates, stolen from a dead man. 

I laced up my skates and I stood up. And nearly fell right back down. It turns out, roller skating is a little trickier than I had bargained for. We rented the $3 walker. 

Paige used it for the first 30 minutes or so and then told me to hang out to it, just in case she needed it. After after hour, she was ready to ditch the walker entirely.  After an hour and a half, she was cruising along all on her own.

And then, of course, there was a surprise visit from Princess Leia and some stormtroopers. 

But that wasn't even the best part. At one point, Paige had no choice but to ditch her skates to run out the middle of the rink to dance to Watch Me Whip/Nae Nae (I didn't know she had such sweet moves). And then, just when we were getting ready to leave, the DJ announced that it was ten minutes to THE BLACKOUT. 

"What's a blackout, Dad? Can we stay?"

How I could say no? 

Ten minutes later, the lights were out, the fog machine was in full force, and the lasers were a-blazin'. The DJ was mixing Bieber with T. Swift and Demi Lovato with Tove Lo. What more could we ask for?  

On our way out, Paige said, "Dad, did you have an awesome time? Because I had an awesome time. And can you believe that I can skate now? Wasn't the blackout awesome? When can we come back? How long were we here? Two-and-a-half hours? It went by so fast. Wasn't it awesome?"

It was awesome.

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