The Seven Degrees of Kirsten Dunst: My Connection to the Stars

It all started with the ESPYs. Justin Timberlake, who Traci looooves, handed Jimmer Fredette the award for Male College Athlete of the Year.

"I'm friends with Jimmer's sister and Jimmer's meeting Justin Timberlake," Traci exclaimed. "That's like two degrees of separation!"

Hmm. That got me thinking (all the way through Sunday School and halfway through Elders Quorum). How far removed am I from my favorite folks?

(I'm sure I could have gotten to some of these people a bit more directly, but I only have so much mental RAM on Sundays.)


John Elway

• I met Steve Young at a seminary fireside in high school. (I also fluffed a dozen LoveSacs at his Park City cabin.)
• Steve Young's San Francisco 49ers defeated John Elway's Broncos in Super Bowl XXIV (a fact that still saddens me).

The Beatles

• I worked for Shawn Nelson at the LoveSac Corporation
• He won a million bucks on Richard Branson's TV show "Rebel Billionaire"
• Branson was knighted by the Queen of England,
• Who knighted Paul McCartney,
• Who was a Beatle
  

Michael Jackson

• I interviewed Deron Williams for Utah Business Magazine
• He and the Jazz always get beat by the Lakers and Kobe Bryant,
• Who dunked on Michael Jordan in 1997,
• Who was in the video for Michael Jackson's "Jam"

Kurt Cobain

• I met Dave Grohl after the first ever Foo Fighters show in Salt Lake
• Dave was, of course, the drummer of a little band called Nirvana

Kylie Minogue

• I interview Anthony Wiggle of The Wiggles,
• Who featured Kylie Minogue on their hit single "The Monkey Man" (Kyle was dubbed the Pink Wiggle)
  

Lauren Conrad

• I've interviewed Alkaline Trio a few times
• On one episode of The Hills, Audrina Patridge goes to the studio to watch the band record an album
• Lauren Conrad shows up to the studio as well, but gets bored and decides to go get coffee with Lo.

Paris Hilton

• My friend Chris Wilson played in Good Charlotte with those Madden twins
• One of them dated Paris Hilton

Britney Spears

• I interviewed Linkin Park recently,
• Who was touring with the Prodigy,
• Who was asked by Madonna to produce her record in the late '90s (they refused)
• Madonna french kissed Britney Spears once

Barack Obama

• Jon Hunstman came to Insurance a few years ago to celebrate our 25th anniversary
• That made him want to move to China and work for Mr. Obama

Lady GaGa

• I talked to Vanilla Ice on the phone a few years ago
• He got all the royalties to "Ice, Ice Baby" shaken out of him by Suge Knight,
• Who was Tupac's label owner,
• Who was originally friends with Biggie Smalls,
• Who was homies with Jay-Z,
• Who's married to Beyonce,
• Who recorded "Telephone" with Lady GaGa

Kirsten Dunst

• I chatted with Death Cab drummer Jason McGerr the other day
• He's in a band with Ben Gibbard,
• Who married Zooey Deschanel,
• Who was in Elf with Will Ferrell,
• Who was in Megamind with Brad Pitt,
• Who starred in Interview with a Vampire with Kirsten Dunst

Hi, My Name Is

We're less than two months away from the arrival of Kid #3 and we're still not making any progress in the naming department. We've looked through all sorts of crappy name books, with no luck. I'm now taking matters into my own hands. I'm just going to pick one from The Hills cast list:

Spencer (hey, that's convenient)
Brody
Jason
Justin Bobby
Charlie
Frankie
Sleazy T (clearly my favorite)

If that doesn't work, we're going to have to go deeper in the back catalog, possibly all the way back to Season One of Laguna Beach. I can't wait for a Talan or Trey to burst forth out of Traci's loins.

So Nervous I Could Die

Tonight marks the beginning of the end. The final season of The Hills. I can't even explain the emotions I'm feeling right now--anticipation, excitement, nostalgia, sadness. And I'm a little hungry because I haven't eaten breakfast yet.

I have a feeling that this is going to be Justin Bobby's year.

Breaking Up with the Hills

She did it. She actually did it. After threatening during every episode of five straight seasons, Traci has officially cut The Hills out of her life. I am now a lone man, watching it all on my own.

Of course, I had my doubts about the post-Lauren Conrad Hills. But I've been pleasantly surprised.

Less Lauren = more Audrina, Lo, and Stephanie Pratt, which is bad. There is also some intense boringness with Heidi and Spencer (though his cowboy hat could have its own show, costarring Charlie's mustache).

Kristin Cavallari is a million times more entertaining than LC, there's more room for Brody to start girl fights and conveniently walk away, and Justin Bobby gets to have lots of different hairdos. I'm content.

But Traci has moved on. One can only hope that our television paths will cross again.

The Rest is Still Unwritten

In just a minute here, I will watch one of the last two episodes with Lauren "LC" Conrad still on The Hills. I haven't felt this sad since Traci and I said goodbye to The OC a few years back. Luckily, I've got Josie & The Pussycats on the DVR to cheer me up.

Bye, Bye Doug. We Hardly Knew Ye.

Lamest. Breakup. Ever.

Why are all of Lauren's new L.A. boyfriends just boyfriends that she had when she was in high school--Jason, Stephen, Doug? I'm guessing that it is probably hard to meet someone who wants to date you and have that relationship scripted and taped. But then again, it is L.A., where everyone wants to be an actor. So I guess the real problem is that guys just don't want to date Lauren because she's boring.