Shut Up You Face

Though the Simpsons has been rather disappointing for the past few seasons, the classics are still classics. Linguo, the grammar robot, is hi-larious!

Mehmet Okur Blues

"Why is Mehmet Okur the same age as me, yet he looks like he's 35?" Traci asked me at the Jazz game last night. Traci's love of books and numbers led her to read the game program, which led her to feel bad about her age. She was shocked when she saw how much older she is than a lot of the players - Deron Williams is only is 23, Paul Millsap is only 22.

While Traci spent the whole night feeling very concerned about this realization, it led to me to a great discovery - Memo's personal website. It is so super awesome that you have to register as a Memo fan to get to see some of the stuff, so of course I registered. Plus you can read it in both English and Turkish.

Traci asked me if Memo thinks it's pretty sweet to be a rich man in the U.S. I am sure he does, but judging by the looks of his Turkish supermodel wife, things were probably pretty good in the homeland as well.

Memo loves pictures. Here's one from his anniversary:



Check out those roses! Memo, you so romantic.

And that's not all. You could also have this Memo glamour shot as the wallpaper on your personal computer:

A Mole Problem

Every once in a while, when I'm feeling a bit blue about my job in the insurance biz, I turn to YouTube for a few laughs. Oh Arrested Development, please come back to us!

Would You Like Some Mormon History with Your Steak?

My friend Wix was in town last night, so we met up for dinner. He brought along a friend from Cincinnati, who was visiting Utah for the first time. I am assuming that Wix wanted to give the friend a bit of Utah culture, as we ate at Porter's Place in Lehi - a restaurant dedicated to the memory of Joseph Smith's sharp-shooting bodyguard Porter Rockwell. The highlight was a menu that included items such as the "Brigham Burger," the "Prophet Plate," and the "Orson Hyde." It was worth the trip for the novelty and for the Ironport old-fashioned cream soda which Wix accurately described as "the size of your head."

DV-R U Okay?

We had our first DVR mishap this week. The contraption holds 100 hours of TV, which seems like more TV than you'd ever record. Well, I guess I didn't take into consideration that when you tape three hours of MTV music videos every night (MTV only shows videos in the middle of the night, so I DVR 'em. Three hours of MTV only equates to six or seven videos and they're all Gwen Stefani.) it adds up quickly. When you surpass the 100-hour limit, it starts deleting your shows. Traci had taped all of the episodes of Extras, only to have them all deleted. She was not happy with me. Not happy. I lost a bunch of episodes of The Office and Ratt Behind the Music. But we're dealing. We cleaned out the DVR, canceled all of the stupid videos, and life begins again.

More Mormon Embarrassment

When Traci saw there was going to be a new show on MTV called "Engaged & Underage," about kids who are getting married who are under 21, she immediately said 'Oh, I'm sure there will be an episode about Mormons.' Sure enough, episode 8 featured a couple of Utah kids.

Chris and Amanda are both 19 and Mormon; Chris is a convert to the church. The plot of the story revolves around Chris's out of town family not understanding why they can't come to his temple marriage and Amanda being completely inconsiderate of their feelings.

Amanda spent most of the episode crying because she had to have a ring ceremony in addition to the temple ceremony. "As a little girl, I never dreamed of having a ring ceremony." Yeah, I never dreamed of being considerate of my in-laws when I was little, either.

Watch the whole episode here.

Baby 4-1-1

Paige needs a lot of information. At least that's all can determine by the fact that I just got a bill from T Mobile saying that we called 411 nine times during the past month. I didn't make the calls, Traci didn't make the calls. Paige loves to play with the cell phone. Sometimes she calls my friend Bert in Iowa at midnight, sometimes she calls my friend Arns in London. Apparently, she also calls the first name in the address book as well, 411. I just sent T Mobile $13.41 to say thank you for all of the information they provided my 16-month-old baby.

Upcoming Johnny Tightlips Show

Now basing our gigs around the impending arrival of Aaron's unborn child, our next show will be April 26 at the Solid Ground Cafe in Sandy. We're playing with three very cool groups, including girl punks Go Betty Go from Side One Dummy Records.

Go Betty Go
Calm Before the Crash
Abby Normal
Johnny Tightlips

Chef Boyar-Don

My mother is out of town, which means my dad has full reign of the kitchen. Last night I saw him put the following ingredients into a frying pan:

• Hamburger
• Onions
• Vegetable Beef Soup
  
• Mushrooms

Was he making a soup? A casserole? A sandwich? That's the great mystery of my father's cooking. It could be anything, really. Normally he would offer - nay, strongly encourage - me to partake in such a creation, but Traci and Paige were with me. He doesn't want to poison them. Just me.

Baby Updates

Paige in her "Rock DJ" pajamas. They came from the boy section at Old Navy, but come on, they've got headphones on the shirt and little cassette tapes on the pants. How could we pass them up?

So if you're like, what's up with Paige lately. Well, tons of stuff. Paige is currently into the following stuff:

• Opening and closing doors.
• Twisting lids on and off of stuff - especially stuff she's not supposed to be playing with e.g. toothpaste bottles, tubes of hydrocortisone, etc.
• Eating lotion. She'll be playing with the bottle and she'll get a little on her fingers. When she thinks I'm not looking, she'll hurry and stick her fingers in her mouth. Then she'll smile and me because she knows she's done something she's not supposed to.
• Running down the chapel aisles at church (yes, that's our kid).
• Standing by the back door and waiting with me and waiting for Traci to come in so we can jump out and scare her - and she's sooo scary.
• Growling.
  
• Eating Kraft Singles cheese.
• She really loves both of her grandmas.
• Turning lights on and off and on and off, forever.
  
• Brushing her teeth (well, holding the toothbrush in her mouth) and looking at herself in the mirror.

As you can see, Paige has a lot going on these days. You could try calling her, but she's probably already talking on her cell phone that's shaped like a cow, that moos when it rings. She's totally popular.