Puke Bowl--Because I'm Sure You Care...

Last night was rough. Traci works until 9 p.m on Thursdays so I generally try to get as much rockin' in as possible while she's away. I had big plans for getting some stuff recorded last night. Unfortunately, it was not to be. I got home from work and felt like I was going to throw up at any second. I ate a green popicle, but it was unable to cure me.

Feeling too weak to rock, I sat at the computer with my puke bowl in front of me--just in case the vomit tried to catch me off guard. The vomit never came, so I just sat there feeling like garbage. The Simpsons was particulary funny last night. Each time I laughed I felt like my stomach was going to lose it. I slept on the couch with my little bowl on the floor next to me.

I decided to come to work today. The second that I walked in the door I felt like it was a mistake, but that could just be because my job always makes me feel sick.

The Prodigy -- Always Outnumbered, Never Outgunned

The Prodigy
Always Outnumbered, Never Outgunned

This country has never really been able to fully accept techno music. It's mostly reserved for gay bars and car commercials. But in 1997 the music world was abuzz with the anticipation that all of that was going to change, thanks to a British act known as The Prodigy.

Liam Howlett and his band of dancers had been setting London dancefloors and music charts on fire since 1992. The Prodigy had managed to present itself more as a rock group than a geek behind a pair of turntables and with 1997's The Fat of the Land they were hoped to be the crossover act that would bring techno into the mainstream.

Thanks to the over-the-top image of creepy "Firestarter" Keith Flynt, The Prodigy became an MTV staple and brought along groups like The Chemical Brothers and The Crystal Method.

America's interest in "electronica" (a term coined so people didn't have to admit they listened to techno) was fleeting and Liam Howlett quietly fell off the face of the earth.

He's back, and to prove he means business, the new LP is titled Always Outnumbered, Never Outgunned. With a title like that, it would seem that America would finally be conquered by the techno army. Not so.

Howlett has ditched the rest of the band, apparently to get back to his roots and to lose the hype. There is no doubt that all that is cool about The Prodigy is Howlett, so that in-and-of itself is not a problem. The letdown, however, is that Howlett just flat out fails to bring it--"it" meaning anything at all.

The album starts in attack mode with "Spitfire," the only decent track on the album. The rest of the record repetitively grinds along, headed nowhere. Howlett fails with a remake of "Lovebuzz" (made popular by early Nirvana) and even dares to take on Michael Jackson's "Thriller." Big mistake.

It's sad that we had to wait seven years for this record, I don't know who will be willing to wait another seven.

 

Traci Almost Gets Stolen

It wasn't my intention to let her get stolen, I just hate going to the stupid mall. It was about 8:15 last Friday night. Traci and I were watching TV when she said "I need to go back to the mall to buy some shoes." She asked me if I wanted to go, which of course, I didn't. Here's where my story and Traci's story start to conflict.

My version: Traci says, "We can go to the mall and then we can go to Albertson's and you can rent a movie." (Like it was my reward for being a good boy and going to the mall.) I said, "How 'bout you go to the mall and I go to Albertson's and rent a movie."

Traci's version: Traci says, "We can go to the mall and then I need to go to Albertson's and buy some stuff for blah, blah, blah. You can rent a movie while we're there."

I refused her offer and she went to the mall by herself. I drove to Albertson's and rented a movie. By about 9:15 I was wondering where Traci was because the mall closes at 9 p.m. That's when the phone rang. "I need you to come pick me up at Albertson's," she said.

"Are you okay?"

"Just come get me."

"What's happening?"

"We'll talk about it when you get here."

Of course I was very worried and confused. What was she doing at the Albertson's? Why does she need a ride? What's happened to the car? I hopped in the car and headed down the street to the grocery store.

When I pulled up at the Albertson's Traci was standing out front with a couple of bags of groceries. Next to her was a man, also holding groceries. He looked to be in his mid-40s. He had the male pattern baldness where you've got hair on the sides but none on the top. I immediately assumed that he was an Albertson's worker because he was wearing tan pants and a tan shirt.

Traci walked over to the car and asked me if we could give him a ride. I gave her a very confused look, but I said yes. I didn't know what the situation was and wasn't really in the position to talk to her about it freely with him standing right there.

He said he needed a ride to the Tesoro gas station about a mile away. I was driving the Focus so Traci climbed in the back seat and this dude sat next to me. I figured if he was next to me I would be able to keep an eye on him a little bit. I don't like the idea of people being able to sneak up on me from behind.  To make a little small talk I said, "So how long have you worked at Albertson's?"

"Oh, I don't work at Albertson's. I was just doing my shopping. I came here on the bus but the busses aren't running now because they stop early on Friday nights. That's why I asked your wife for a ride home." He asked me if it had been raining and then said, "People keep saying that we need the rain and I don't understand why. The Lord told Noah that he would never flood the earth again. The good Lord always gives us enough rain, but the bishop and people in the ward are storing water like we're going to run out. But the Lord always gives us rain.  I don't understand it."

"Well, I think if you have a drought long enough, you do run out of water," I said. "Are you going to catch a bus at the Tesoro?"

"No, I just need some cigarettes, if I don't get some the old lady's gonna be real mad." We pulled into the Tesoro and he thanked us for the ride.

I turned around and asked Traci what the deal was. She had walked out of the door and the guy asked her for a ride and wouldn't leave her alone.  I guess she hesitated and then (very smartly) said that she couldn't because she had walked to the store--which she hadn't.  You would think that would deter someone, but he said it would be no problem for him to just walk home with her and then they could get the car. He said, "I'd even be willing to ride in the trunk."  She said, "I'll call my husband and see if he can give you a ride."

Now I have to feel awful that because I didn't want to go to the mall my wife almost got stolen. With all of the craziness going on lately--the kidnapped joggers and whatnot--simple things like going to the grocery store can turn into a big deal. I am very happy that Traci was smart about the situation, though I wish she would have just gone back in and told the manager. I probably just should have said "sorry, I'm not giving you a ride" to the guy and just taken Traci and left, but I wasn't sure why she had told him we'd give him a ride. The experience gave me a lot to think about.  I'm happy that everything worked out okay and that I've still got Traci. She's a keeper.

Robbin' Banks All Whacked Out on Scooby Snacks

After 5 years in the teller biz I finally faced the big "R"

Friday is generally the busiest day of the week at the credit union. On July 16, I showed up at work at 9:30 a.m. The CU had been open for an hour but it was still looking pretty slow--only one car in the drive-thru and a few in the parking lot. I took my usual Friday morning position at the drive-thru backup station next to Tiffany.

At about 10 a.m. I was helping someone in the second drive-thru lane and gossiping with Tiffany when I heard "you know what the #$&* to do!" come from somewhere behind me. The obscenity caught my attention. It is not uncommon for a member to get upset with us—people yell and swear and storm off.

I turned around to see what the fuss was about. There was a guy standing right behind me up on the teller line. I saw a gun, a bandana and Jamaal's drawer being emptied. My first thought was "are you serious?" My second thought was "this seems pretty serious."

The robber was wearing a tan fisherman hat, sunglasses and a red bandana tied around his nose and mouth like he was an old west bandit. He was wearing a green flannel shirt and white batting gloves. He was pointing a gun at Jamaal and told all of us to go stand "over there." He used the gun to gesture toward the front door.

The robber was standing right behind Jamaal when I turned around

While he seemed to be making this statement to Jamaal, Lisa and Chelsea (the three tellers he was facing) I figured there was no point in me sticking around up there on the teller line. Tiffany and I followed the others and walked down from the teller line to the front door.

As we were walking I was very deliberately trying to make sure that Mistie and LoyDean, who were sitting in the desks in the lobby, were aware of what was going. They saw all of walking away from the teller line and saw what was going on. Other workers, however, didn’t catch on so quickly. Jayme Webber was walking to LoyDean’s when she saw all of us standing by the door. She said, “What are you guys doing?” It was just in a regular voice, but in the silence of the moment it seemed like she was yelling. We nodded toward the action. “Are we getting robbed?!” Again, in a much too loud voice. Thank you, Jayme, for stating the obvious.

It was really surreal. We just stood by the door, watching the robber clear out all of our drawers. The first thing that popped into my mind was wondering what personal items I had up there at my station. I have my teller money in the top drawer and I generally put my personal stuff i.e. my wallet, keys, cell phone and sometimes my iPod in the drawer directly below. I very clearly remember thinking "I hope my iPod's not up there!" [I think Traci found that really disturbing when I told her I was thinking about my iPod. I think it confirmed her theory my CDs are my most valuable possesion--but it's not like I had Traci stashed away in that drawer.]

We didn’t have to lie on the floor, we weren’t tied up and the guy didn’t even tell us to be quiet. We decided to be quiet of our own accord, thinking it was probably our safest course of action. You don’t really want to disturb someone wearing a mask and holding a gun.

After he had cleared out all of the drawers he walked right toward us on his way to the door. My heart started beating faster as he got closer. “Count to 10 and then do your thing,” was all he said as he left the building.

Thanks to the quick thinking of our assistant manager, LoyDean, we all headed to the window in Kim’s office to see if we could see which way he was heading. He got into a green Chevy Blazer that was parked directly in front of the window where we were standing. I was thinking “I wonder if he can see us all looking at him. Is he going to shoot us through the window if he sees us?” We got his license plate number and watched him casually drive through the parking lot. Mistie had already locked the doors to the building and it was time to figure out what to do next.

The Robber came up to the teller line through this entrance

Post Robbery

We all stood there a bit stunned, but I guess our bi-annual robbery training was in our heads somewhere. Someone got out the suspect description forms and we started filling them out. Both LoyDean and Mistie had already pushed their alarm buttons and someone was on the phone with the police.

As the girls immediately started chattering, I tried to focus my mind and write down everything that I could remember. It amazed me that after staring so intently at this guy, the second he left all of my memory was all mixed up. For example, I was sure I had seen his eyes. I thought they were brown. Every other employee wrote that he was wearing sunglasses.

Though my sense of time was all mixed up, I think it was probably about five or ten minutes before the cops showed up and started handing out more description forms. It was nothing like CSI Miami (oh, what a let down). No one was looking for prints, taking photos or looking for strands of DNA. The FBI showed up a few minutes later and gave us some more forms to fill out. One by one they interviewed each of us and let us give our version of the story. I was hoping to impress them with my impeccable recollection of the event, but I couldn’t really tell him much more than what I am sure everyone else had said. There really wasn’t much to tell. The guy was so covered that none of us could even identity his skin color. I heard him utter two sentences. He came in, took the money and left. There wasn’t much else to say. I am sure that Horatio Cane and his CSI crew would disagree. They would let the evidence do the talking.

A few minutes later the CEO of Cyprus and one of the vice presidents (my neighbor Brett Hales) showed up. I thought it was funny that it took a bank robbery for CEO Dale Catten to come out to our branch and meet some of our employees for the first time. Our piece of crap HR director showed up as well. He’s never around when you need him and now he’s here when we don’t. He was in charge of arranging a counseling session. I told him that I thought he should arrange some pizza. He agreed. 

Robbery Pizza Party

We were closed from about 10 a.m. until a little after 2 p.m. During that time we had a sign up on the front door that said "Temporarily Closed." I am sure that Cyprus Credit Union members rival some of the dumbest people in this universe. People kept walking up to the door, looking at the sign, pulling on the door handle, realizing it was locked, looking at the sign again, and then pulling on the door one more time. Those that pressed their faces to the door could see that we were in the back eating pizza. Closed for a pizza party! What are they doing?!

Lunch time was a chance for all of us to relieve the tension a bit. We could all discuss our version of the story. It seemed like most people were dealing with everything pretty well. There was a lot of joking around. I could tell that Jamaal was a bit shaken up. He had the first and closest contact with the guy. Lisa, who was sitting next to Jamaal was really upset. She cried and cried through her interview with the feds. She went home before the counselor showed up and didn’t come back to work the next day.

The pizza party also served as a buffer time between the robbery and when the robbery counselor was able show up. At about 1 p.m. a gray-haired man with soft features and listening eyes arrived to talk to us. We all sat in a circle while he explained that the most important thing for us to do was to find someone who willing to just let us talk. He also said that after something traumatic happens people often go into shock and it takes a few days before the true emotions start to come out. He had each person in the circle tell what they thought and felt and the time of the robbery and what they felt now that a few hours had passed.

At 2 p.m. we had to open up the doors again and get back to work. It was a little bit weird to go back up to my station and see that there was no money in the drawer. I think it was a good idea, though, to just jump back into the game rather than to have more time to think about it.

The next day I headed off to San Diego for a family vacation. I am sure that there was lots of talk going around the credit union. It’s good when we have something to talk about—it keeps work interesting—but I’m not sad that I missed it. I was relaxing on the beach and it was about the furthest thing from my thoughts.

So after five years of tellering, I’ve now been robbed. I guess I can go get a new job and feel like I’ve had a fulfilling career. 

Taking Back Sunday -- Where You Want to Be

Taking Back Sunday
Where You Want to Be

By Tyler McHenry

Taking Back Sunday swept the emo world by storm with its debut “Tell All Your Friends” in 2002.  The band’s angry yet melodic style was a unique injection of creativity in an otherwise mundane genre.  Two years later, and with half of the band members replaced, one could only wonder how their latest album “Where You Want to Be” would turn out.  After one listen to the new album, it was apparent that TBS had written 11 more great tracks.

The band’s strength lies in lead and backup vocalists Adam Lazzara and Fred Mascherino respectively.  Mascherino has stepped right into the shoes of Shaun Cooper, whose presence isn’t even missed on the new production.  The new album also features a soft acoustic track entitled “New American Classic,” which goes to show that the band is more dynamic than first thought of.  While keeping their “sound” the same in essence, TBS has become tighter and more refined, which can be heard in “This Photograph is Proof” and “Little Devotional.”  Congratulations to TBS for creating another album whose songs will be sung in showers across America for the next two years. 

THE SKINNY: Music for showers

California Love

 We have returned home from our trip with Traci's family to Oceanside, California. No one got disowned or divorced and everyone is still speaking. It was a successful vacation.

The trip was pretty relaxed. We stayed in a 3-bedroom condo right on the beach. Drew tried to keep the planning to a minimum, which was nice. We spent most of our time just hanging out on the beach or at the pool.

Despite the usual hang-ups of family vacation, the trip went smoothly. For example, Traci got mad at Tim and told him to "stop thinking that he knows everything" and he told her to "go play in traffic." There were a few near misses like Jillian's bladder almost exploding before we got to a gas station bathroom, Traci's two pair of missing sunglasses and both rental cars getting all scraped up.

Despite any struggles, at the end of the day--both figuratively and literally--we all sleep soundly. For Tim and Jillian that meant cell phones lying next to their heads and having sweet dreams of text messaging. For Traci and me it meant enjoying time away from the daily grind. It was nice to be away and now it's back to the working man blues

Warped Tour 2004

Tyler McHenry documents a day of walking back and forth at punk rock's traveling festival

Brett Gurewitz performs onstage with Bad Religion

After missing out on Millencolin in 1997, I knew it would be important to arrive at the fairgrounds before the noon start time of Warped Tour 2004. My veteran instinct led us to cut to the front of the line, wiping out the two hour wait which could have been fatal.

Gone are the days of the two stage setup; this musical circus brings seven stages with bands playing on any of four stages at any given time. The sets are even shorter now as each band--including the headliners--is allocated thirty minutes to perform their trick. Considering the doors opened at noon, I found it odd that Red West took the stage at 11:30.

The schedule looked pretty good for my tastes, the only major scheduling conflict was that Motion City Soundtrack played at 4:15, while The Alkaline Trio started at 3:30 and Bad Religion was slated to begin at 4:00. Thinking that the first big band didn't hit the stage until 12:45, I made my way around the venue. Arriving at the Volcom stage, a familiar voice rang in my ear. Pulley was already rocking out. Looking up at the schedule, it read Pulley 1:30. As I caught the last three songs of their set, I realized that I was one of the few onlookers who even knew who Pulley was. Scott Radinski belted out one of the great Epitaph classics "Cashed In," to end the set and I was a freshman in college all over again.

Rise Against seemed to have a large following, and looked to be one of the favorites on this year's tour. Ripping through their set with "Blood, Red, White, Blue," and "Like the Angel," Rise Against pleased the punk and the hardcorist alike. Making my way across the park, Story of the Year was ending their set with the radio hits. A lackluster performance was epitomized by the comment, "We are here to have fun, not fight. Godsmack is not here today, people." SOTY is the stereotypical band that kids listen to for about a year and then drop.

The show was still in its early stages, and the people kept filing in like the punk rock sheep they are. Back to the east side, Thursday was really getting the crowd going. They were playing really tight and sounded excellent. Impressive tracks included, "Understanding in a Car Crash," and "Autobiography of a Nation." Leaving their set a little early, I headed over to see the beloved Bouncing Souls. The band looked the same, except that Greg now has long hair with red patches scattered around his head. Warming up the crowd with "Ole'," the Souls seemed to be excited to be back in SLC. They followed that up with "Say Anything," "Hopeless Romantic," and "The Ballad of Johnny X." After busting out into "Kate is Great," the punk rocker in me couldn't hold back and I entered the circle pit. The Bouncing Souls continued to rock like it was 1998 all over again. The fun continued with "That Song," "Anchors Aweigh," and "True Believers." The set ended with a surprising rendition of "Night on Earth." The Bouncing Souls again proved that they are kings of the live performance.

Greg leads Bouncing Souls fans in a punk rock sing along

Another trek across the fairgrounds led me to the presence of Yellowcard. I had never seen them live, but was quite impressed. As expected, they had drawn the majority of the festival's crowd. Busting out all the hits, both soft and hard, the band mixed it up well and didn't disappoint.

As NOFX began their set, it was time to sit down and rest [EDITOR'S NOTE: NOFX and Rancid are bands that no matter how many times we've them, we've never watched their set]. Warped Tour provided a great sprinkler area to cool off in this year. A refreshing break from the warm sun was all I needed to gain my second wind. One of the major themes of this year's tour was an Anti-Bush sentiment. Almost all of the bands made known their disagreement with Bush's policy and direction during this time of conflict. NOFX even finished their set with a rousing number called, "Idiot Son of an Asshole," which is all about our current president. To nobody's surprise, Anti-Flag played some songs dedicated to the man in charge as well. At this point in the day, I decided to browse each band's tent and merchandise, which led me to miss out on Coheed and Cambria. This was okay because I had to get myself into perfecting listening position for The Alkaline Trio. Rumor has it that the Trio do not perform their best on the Warped Tour, and now I can attest to this. Coming out to play "We've Had Enough," the Trio said very little during their set. They were also playing with a mysterious fourth member. Alternating singers after each song, they continued with "Maybe I'll Catch Fire," the new song "Warbrain," and "Emma." Some of the tracks ending the performance included, "My Friend Peter," "Nose Over Tail," and "This Could be Love." Their performance was pretty poor and lacked a lot of energy. Sprinting away disappointed, I knew Greg Graffin and Co. were going to make things better.

Bad Religion started off with the new stuff by playing, "Sinister Rouge." To make things even nicer, Brett Gurewitz had joined his friends today. From then on, the band didn't stop playing. "Atomic Garden," "Supersonic," "American Jesus," "Infected," and "You" left all of us wanting more. Two more new songs followed "Let Them Eat War," and "God's Love." Graffin made an unnecessary comment about the Mormon garment as the set rolled forward. "Recipe for Hate," "21st Century Digital Boy," and "Sorrow" concluded another stellar performance by the ageless ones. Knowing that this would most likely be the last time seeing the legends, I cherished this moment.

The sun and the heat were finally taking their toll on my body. I knew I had to persevere. Senses Fail were already halfway through their set, but they were rivaling Bad Religion. Looks like Vagrant records have found themselves another gem. Stopping by the Epitaph tent, I realized something very upsetting to the stomach--Motion City Soundtrack had in fact played at 2:15 and not 4:15 as first posted at the entry. Knowing that during this time I was just resting made me upset because I was really hoping to see them. The newest problem with Warped Tour is that it has become too big. Wanting to see everything, and not being able to, is quite frustrating.

Hoping to avoid New Found Glory as much as possible, I waited patiently at one of the smaller stages for Hidden in Plain View. This was a bold move on my part, but it paid great dividends. HIPV were one of the top acts of the day. I'd be happy to support them on their next visit to the Lake town. Apparently on the other side, Flogging Molly was entertaining everybody with their Irish jigs and drinking songs as well. I really don't think I missed out.

The day was coming to a close as we prepared to see Taking Back Sunday. Right before they come out, the rain started to come down. TBS proved to be strong as well, as the music rang true through the downpour. It was one of those times that you'd like to see a full set from a band, rather than the 30 minute tease which is offered at the yearly festival. As the rain began to fall harder, it was time to go home. Few people would stick around to watch The Vandals this day.

Hup Holland Hup!

The European Cup (EK) is a big deal for soccer fans. It's the second biggest tournament after the World Cup. It is held every four years; in 2000 it was in Holland and the Dutch people went absolutely crazy. There was soccer stuff in every window, every street had Dutch flags and people even painted their houses orange. I'm not kidding. There were entire streets of orange houses!

Since I was living in Holland in 2000, I had the chance to see the "oranje gekte" (the orange craziness) first hand. Missionary work, much like everything in Europe, has to be put on hold when soccer is happening. We watched a lot of the games and pretty soon I had my face painted orange and RB was wearing his Snickers Lucky Pants underwear over his proselyting clothes. We had the fever.

Here we are four years later and it’s time for Euro 2004 in Portugal. Because RB loves soccer, he decided to shell out the money so we could watch the tournament on pay-per-view. (Americans don’t like soccer so the EK is not on free TV.) We figured that since we were probably the only two Dutch soccer fans on this continent it was important that we showed our support.

This was going to require a lot of trickery--like me sneaking away from my job at the Community College or RB talking his lab boss into watching the game with us instead of saving the human race through the genetic mumbo-jumbo that they do there.

None of this would have been very noteworthy, however, if it wasn’t for the timing. Right in the middle of the tournament RB’s wife was to bear him a son—very sweet of her. I quickly got the impression, however, that RB was going to make sure that not even a new baby was going to interfere with us watching soccer.

Little Calvin Benjamin Jones was born on Friday, June 25. That worked out perfectly. Carolee was able to watch Holland beat Latvia with us on the 23rd, she was still in the hospital on Saturday the 26th and allowed RB to take his “dinner break” at 7 p.m. so we could watch Holland beat Sweden on penalty kicks, and she was back home with the newest member of the family for the semifinal match against Portugal on the 30th.

Portugal ended up beating Holland. We were a little upset, but were not forced to lose our testimonies of Dutch soccer like the millions of supporters in Holland. It was good times. I got to enjoy the games with the ever-revolving cast of those that frequent the Jones’ residence: Tim, Stew, RB’s boss, Carolee’s family, some kid from Missouri, etc. I got to have the heartfelt, soul searching conversations that I love to have with RB, all fit in amongst cell phone calls, emails, visitors and free kicks. Heel gezellig.

It is important to get the good times in while they’re still to be had. Jones will be moving back to Missouri in a few months, which makes me sad. But, who knows where life will lead us in the four years between now and Euro 2008.

Pedro the Lion: Live at Club Sound

Pedro, Pedro, Pedro. I have been waiting for this show for months. My expectations for a great night were increased by the fact that I am going to miss this year's Warped Tour, and this show would have to fill that void. I wasn't disappointed.

For whatever reason, the show was moved from In the Venue (formerly Brick's) to Club Sounds. Bricks subdivided its space into two venues. In the Venue is for the larger shows and Club Sounds the smaller. The show was scheduled for 7:30. I showed up at 8 p.m. and the line was all the way down the street. I waited in line for about a 45 minutes before being herded into the very small, packed club.

John Vanderslice was the opening act. In preparation for the show I have been listening to a few JV albums. I got curious because I absolutely fell in love with the first JV song I ever heard. An ode to his four-track recorder, "My 424" has become a staple in my mix rotations. Unfortunately, I find the rest of JV's music (and mostly his voice) to be overdramatic and kind of boring. To my disappointment, Vanderslice played no "My 424" leaving me annoyed that I had anxiously waited through his set to hear my favorite song in vain. I was, however, slightly entertained by his 50-year-old organ player who had a gray Brigham Young beard and a beanie on the top of his head that made him look like a Keebler Elf.

Pedro took the stage at about 9:45 and played until the 11 p.m. curfew. It was good from start to finish. The band opened up with "Never Leave a Job Half Done" and "The Fleecing" and continued through a very healthy mix of songs from all of their albums.

After every few songs, lead Singer David Bazan would ask the crowd if they hand any questions. Fans would raise their hands and he would call on them. He fielded questions regarding his respect for women, his Mac computer preference and his musical inspirations. When asked who he preferred -- Michelle Branch or Vanessa Carlton -- he paused and then replied, "I don't know who that is."

It was the interaction with the crowd that really set this show apart. Bazan answered every question and even catcalls quite seriously. When someone shouted a request for "Priests and Paramedics" he answered, "At this point in the evening I think we know which songs we are planning to play, but thank you."

Pedro played "Options" for the "redheaded guy who knocked on the window of our van and requested it." It was wonderful. The other numbers from Control, "Rapture" and "Penetration" were also highlights of the evening. Fans also got the hits from It's Hard to Find a Friend: "Big Trucks," "Bad Diary Days," and "Of Minor Prophets and their Prostitute Wives." They even did a straightforward cover of Radiohead's "Let Down."

Before the last song, David Bazan told the crowd that he had some serious things that he needed to say. He talked about growing up and feeling that America was a great place, where the idea of "empire first" had been done away with. He continued that he has come to find this to be untrue, with the same raping and pillaging for personal gain to still be the mode of operation in the United States. He said it was important to read, to talk to people, to get informed and to vote.

The band ended with the very beautiful "The Secret of the Easy Yoke" which just about made me cry. There was no encore. There was nothing they could have done to improve on the perfect set.

I found David Bazan in outside of the club talking to a few kids after the show. He sat and talked to a group of us about politics and the state of our country for a half hour or so, showing the connection his has with his fans goes beyond the confines of performer and audience.

Arrested Development

In case you were curious, Arrested Development is the funniest show on television. It is regularly shown Sunday nights at 8:30, but has been on at different times lately.

It is the story of the Bluth family. The father, George Bluth, is in jail after committing corporate fraud. His son Michael has taken over the company. This is the world's most dysfunctional family. A few examples:

Dr. Tobias Funke is married into the Bluth family. He quit his job as a psychiatrist to become an actor. He thought he was taking an acting job and ended up on a boat full of gay pirates.

Buster Bluth still lives with his mother, Lucille. To make her jealous he has fallen in love with their neighbor, who is also named Lucille, played by Liza Minnelli.

George-Michael is the family's straight-shooter. He loves the family and loves his cousin, Maeby, a bit too much.

Make sure to the check out the show. For more background go to http://www.fox.com/arresteddev/

Raves: The Killers - Hot Fuss

Killers
Hot Fuss

It’s embarrassing enough to get introduced to a new band by MTV and it’s even harder to admit it. I’m swallowing my pride. I first saw “Somebody Told Me” by the Killers while I was in San Diego (we don’t have cable at our house). I thought it was a pretty good little tune and I am a sucker for the Moog (click here for more info on the Moog) sounds.

The Killers bring the 80’s electronic beats and sounds of Depeche Mode or Duran Duran and mix it with a bit more updated alternative rock. Their album Hot Fuss is not a masterpiece, but there are some really solid tracks. I list it here as a rave for the following reasons:

1. When I hear the repeated line “I’ve got soul, but I’m not a soldier” I find myself marching/dancing while I’m mowing my front lawn (the neighbors love it).
2. Most of the tunes cause me to play air keyboard (anyone can cause you to play air guitar, you have to be really hip to make people rock out to your keyboard).
3. The song title “Mr. Brightside” is pretty close to “Mr. Blue Skies,” and that’s a great song.

I am a sucker for bands that kind of sound like the Cure. So if you like the Cure, you may as well give the Killers a try.

*The Moog is an analog keyboard that makes wacky sounds. Check out "Return of the Rentals for a good example.

Beastie Boys To the 5 Boroughs

Beastie Boys
To the 5 Boroughs

Aptly titled, To the 5 Boroughs sounds just like it came out of New York circa 1985. It's old School and it’s oldest—stripped down beats, orchestra hits, scratching and rhyming. That’s it. This works great on “Ch-check it Out,” “Triple Trouble” and “An Open Letter to NYC.”

While hip-hop has always been their forte, the Beasties generally keep it interesting by mixing a bunch of styles. Unfortunately 5 Boroughs, is void of all funk or punk rock rants.

The irreverent boys of License to Ill are almost 40 now. They rap more about politics than partying, but most of these new songs still manage to get the party started.

The Killers - Hot Fuss

The Killers
Hot Fuss

It’s embarrassing enough to get introduced to a new band by MTV and it’s even harder to admit it. I’m swallowing my pride. I first saw “Somebody Told Me” by the Killers while I was in San Diego (we don’t have cable at our house). I thought it was a pretty good little tune and I am a sucker for the Moog (click here for more info on the Moog) sounds.

The Killers bring the 80’s electronic beats and sounds of Depeche Mode or Duran Duran and mix it with a bit more updated alternative rock. Their album Hot Fuss is not a masterpiece, but there are some really solid tracks. I list it here as a rave for the following reasons:

1. When I hear the repeated line “I’ve got soul, but I’m not a soldier” I find myself marching/dancing while I’m mowing my front lawn (the neighbors love it).

2. Most of the tunes cause me to play air keyboard (anyone can cause you to play air guitar, you have to be really hip to make people rock out to your keyboard).

3. The song title “Mr. Brightside” is pretty close to “Mr. Blue Skies,” and that’s a great song.

I am a sucker for bands that kind of sound like the Cure. So if you like the Cure, you may as well give the Killers a try.

*The Moog is an analog keyboard that makes wacky sounds. Check out "Return of the Rentals for a good example.

Local H -- Live at Ego's

The Local H concert that I attended with Ty in 1997--when they opened for Silverchair--was one of the best concerts I have ever been to. Here we are, 7 years and 3 1/2 new Local H albums later, and I had high hopes for their concert at Ego's.

Due to the nature of concerts at bars, and some technical difficulties, Local H didn't start playing until 11:30 p.m. They started off the set with the 10-minute "BuffaloTrace" off their new record. While the song is relatively rocking, it seemed like they were easing the crowd into the show. I was disappointed that they didn't begin with what to me seems like the obvious opener "Alright, Oh yeah," which they did play midway through the set.

They played a handful of new tracks and mixed in all of the hits from "As Good As Dead:" Bound for the Floor, Fritz's Corner, High Fivin' MF, and Eddie Vedder. Despite the requests, there was no "Back in the Day."

Besides "Hands on the Bible" from the band's last release, only two albums were really represented. No "All the Kids are Right," and no "Sports Bar."

The set was a little loose. Each time the music started to really rock, they would pull it down with a new song or a meandering jam or arrangement. The band played the neo-rock "Hey Rita" from the new album, the worst song from "Whatever Happened to PJ Soles." Fortunately, "Where are They Now?" and "Heavy Metal Bakesale" showed that even the new material can rock.

It is unfortunate that Joe is no longer in the band, but new drummer Brian St. Clair is a no-nonsense heavy drummer. In Dave Grohl fashion he never lifted his head during the entire 60 minute set. NO fills, just straight pounding. Scott Lucas, on the other hand downed a few beers and multiple shots during the set and was dancing and head-banging and shouting at the crowd. "Walking through the set as drunk as we could get" now become more than just a clever line from "All the Kids are Right."

Local H has aged, so has their fan base. Since hard rock is harder to come by these days, it seems like Local H has become an oasis for all of the High Fivin' MFs would still want to mosh. Poor Scott Lucas.

The band ended with an encore "California Songs" and a 10-minute improv rant where Lucas screamed "You got the money, we've got the soul" over and over. The alcohol seemed to be getting to him.

The band did not seem as tight as it was 7 years ago, but still strong, especially if you are a bit intoxicated.

Raves: The Streets - A Grand Don't Come for Free

The Streets (aka Mike Skinner)=skinny, white, British rapper who can't sing...at all. Why is it, then, that I can't stop listening to the new album A Grand Don't Come for Free?

Here's why I love the bloke (I don't know what bloke means exactly, but it's fun to use British talk):

1. He makes all the music. He puts down all of the beats, writes and and records it all himself at his mom's house. We're not talking Neptunes-style catchy beats, but somehow the off-tune singing is oddly appealing.

2. It doesn't sound like anything else. It is not a British guy trying to be a tough, American rapper. It's a British rapper talking about drinking tea with his mum and text messaging his friends. Nothing tough about that.

3. When Skinner attempts singing he kind of sounds like a robot. I love robots.

A Grand is a concept album. The entire LP tells the story of Mike losing a thousand pounds and his girlfriend, and suspecting that his friends are responsible for both. It is refreshing to hear a rapper talking about being extremely worried about losing money, and not just about rollin' in it.

The album's got humor, some slow stuff and some rough stuff. It's probably an acquired taste, but I would recommend checking it out.

Orange and Black Attack!

Last night was the annual "hang out with Susie Goebel and Pat Barnum night" at the Sutherland residence. Susie lives in Cedar City and Pat lives in Lehi, so these things don't happen too often, but they always turn out being an extravaganza.

The highlights of the evening:

Pat bringing his tape of The Price is Right; Pat and 15 of his high school hooligan friends went to TPIR in February. The seats are first-come-first-serve, so of course they slept out on the street in front of the studio the night before. They had front-row seats so every time a contestant came up to the front you would see Mike, Pat, Jeff and Bryant high-fiving them or making their crazy faces. They all wore Tubucky State U. t-shirts. They made up a fake college that was in Knarraville, UT in case any of them were chosen. It was a very funny thing to watch. Jadee's girlfriend, who is Amanda Milne from my USU days, got called up and won a trip to Chicago.

Traci telling Pat about Lydia Mayne going inactive and marrying an Arab. Pat almost died laughing. He thought it was the most unbelievable thing he had ever heard, and could not wait to tell his friends that Murray's Molly-est Mormon had gone nuts.

Susie telling us that Hoover Hoffmann is a member of a comedy improve team. Hoover! Could there be anyone less likely to be funny? Or Susie mimicking the Rock Lobster dance that Pat did when she, Pat, Hoover and Cari Daliff went to the B-52s concert together in '98. That led me to think about Pat going to They Might be Giants with Mike Neider and Mike hating it because he was squished behind a fat computer geek guy with glasses and a mullet who took off his shirt and had a pimply back.

I don't really know how to describe the visit, other than "an experience." It's the feeling of having so much that you want to discuss or reminisce or laugh about and not knowing how to effectively fit it in to three hours time. We go through the updates on all of the Murray folk and common acquaintances. We get in all the gossip and the news and the baby count and the engagement promises. Susie and Pat are both so original, unique and funny that it makes for an eclectic atmosphere.

We discussed music--Pat's continuing love for Radiohead, Traci's interest in Justin Timberlake, my secret Britney Spears thing and Susie "not having enough ears" to take in all of the John Mayer that she needs in her life.

I hope that Pat and Susie will someday decide that they should just marry each other. I think that is the best choice for both of them.

I am going to do my best to make this annual event at least semi-annual.

College Graduation

I have unoffiicially graduated from college. Last Friday was the big day--commencement. I decide that I was going to walk a long time ago. Traci walked. It was boring to watch but I figured it wouldn't be so bad to participate in.

As it got closer to graduation I had less and less desire to actually go to commencement. I was thinking that it would be more of a reward to celebrate my bachelor's degree by having a day off of work than sitting through commencement. I went to work until 11, and then went home to grab my cap and gown. I had to be there early so I mercilessly left Traci to get a ride with Don and Martha. I met up with Brett Bawden at the U so we could sit together.

When I got to campus my mood changed. It was cool to see the buzz of excitement around the Huntsman Center. Students and families milling about taking pictures, hugging. The air was filled the weight that had been lifted off of shoulders. There was also a lot of knowledge flying around in the atmosphere. All of the information that must be stored in a student's brain is immediately released when a diploma is received.

Brett and I sat on the front row. The whole deal lasted about an hour and a half. My moment in the spotlight lasted long enough for me to hand the card with my name to the reader, hear "Spencer D. Sutherland," get my empty diploma case, shake hands and smile with some lady, walk a little further and get my picture taken again and then sit down. The whole process lasted approx. 45 seconds.

It was worth it. It was fun to graduate. I took some pictures after with Traci and with my parents. Hooray. Now comes the pressure of trying to be a grown-up, find a job, and go to work every day for the next 41 years. Wow, so much to look forward to.

Black Angus Ahoy! 

The parents said they would take me anywhere I wanted for my graduation dinner. We had to do it the night before commencement because my mom had to go to her little friend Holly Mangum's wedding reception on Friday night.

I chose the Black Angus. Funny, huh? I decided that since Traci and I don't really go to steak houses (Traci doesn't eat steak) that maybe this would be a good chance. We rolled big pimpin' style in my mom's new black Mercedes. (Mid-life crisis mobile)

Dinner was good. Somewhere in the conversation we started talking about how I have only been to Snowbird once in my life. My mom said, "We'll just drive up there tonight, then." I think I thought she was kidding. But after we finished dinner we followed my dad up to my grandpa's rest home to drop of Grandpa's Explorer. We then headed right up to Snowbird. It was kind of nice to get out of the valley and take a little scenic trip through the mountains. We got up to Snowbird, parked for about 2 minutes (didn't leave the car) and turned around and went home. Interesting.

Post-Graduation Party

Because I am a wonderful husband, I celebrated my graduation by doing something nice for Traci. We headed from the U. up to Park City to do a little shopping at the outlet stores. Traci was very excited about the idea.

Things were quiet in Summit County. The highlight of the trip was that I bought an Amsterdam T-shirt at Zumiez. How often do find a shirt in America that's written in Dutch?

It was a Dutch evening all around. I went to the Whale's wedding reception later that night. I saw T. Nels and a few other missionary hits, including the Sieverts. Crazy old man Sieverts has bought a shoe store (schoen makkerij). He's going to be making cowboy boots and wooden klompen. Unbelievable! The man with the twisty mustache making cowboy boots. Sounds like the making of a great picture.

Raves: I Love the '90s

I Love the 90s

I never really understood nostalgia until I found myself thinking that music hit its pinnacle in 1998--strangely the same year that I graduated high school.  I am beginning to understand why my oldest sister was replacing old old Warrant and Poison cassettes with Warrant and Poison CDs in 1997.  No matter how hard you try to fight it, we all have our wonder years.

VH1 knows that people are suckers for nostalgia.  When we saw a commercial for "I Love the 90s" Traci exclaimed, "We have to get cable!  The 90s--that's us!" We didn't get cable, but during our trip to California we had the chance to see every year of I Love the 90s at least once, with the exception of 1993. (We recognize that this means we spent of lot of time watching TV on our vacation, but cable TV is a vacation in and of itself for us)

The show pokes fun at all the fads that we all got caught up in during the 90s, and are now embarrassed to admit--slap bracelets, the Macarena, Spice Girls, Teletubbies, Beanie babies, and those evil Furbies.  The best part of the show is that a lot of artists that were fads in the '90s are willing to laugh at themselves and give commentary.  MC Hammer introduces the "slammin' jammin' dance hits" of each year, Michael Bolton gives a list of the years' "hotties" and Sir Mix-a-Lot talks about why he never wants to hear "Baby Got Back" again.

As we watched the show, The memories came rushing back.  In my mind I saw myself in fluorescent orange and green Hammer pants. I actually remember wondering in 1992 why someone hadn't thought of fluorescent colors earlier. 

The 90s were great, but I'm sure 80s were great and the 70s were too.   As a magnet on my in-laws' refrigerator says "The older I get, the better I was." The 90s were great because they're over now and we only remember the good stuff.   Thanks, VH1 for helping us to remember that Vanilla Ice truly was the good stuff.

Kanye West The College Dropout

Kanye West
The College Dropout

I am by no means a very reliable source for hip-hop critique. Nevertheless, I enjoy the genre from a distance.

I had the chance to check out The College Dropout by Kanye West. West is famous for his production skills, most notably for hits like "Izzo (H.O.V.A.)" that he produced Jay-Z. This record marks West’s first attempt behind the mic.

Kanye West is not the most noteworthy rapper, but this album still shines because of the catchy beats. College Dropout draws heavily from soul and gospel samples. The standout tracks are “Spaceships,” a track about losing it at your day job, “Never Let Me Down,” with Jay-Z and “Jesus Walks” which contains the coolest line of the album, “God show me the way because the devil’s trying to break me dowwwwn.”

The drawbacks are:

1. The many high-pitched, Chipmunk-like background voices

2. Skits that break up the flow of the album

3. The hit “Slow Jamz.” (I know this a huge radio hit, but you should know how strongly I disdain all slow jams.)

Overall, a pretty good record.