Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Day 1: Trip To Orlando, Now Cocaine Free

10 a.m. And it begins...

Off on my first business flight. This is my second work trip, but I don't know how official last year's man-cation to St. George with Tim really was. 

I'm headed to Orlando with my boss Sean for a dental insurance conference. I'm not exactly sure what we're going to be learning once we're there, but I do know that there is a speed dating course offered. Traci said I can't go. She has also forbidden me from the following:
  • Looking at naked people (girls or boys)
  • Drinking beer
  • Doing cocaine
I was hoping this would finally be my chance to starting using cocaine--what with my lousy kids out of the picture--but alas, Traci has thwarted my plans.

11 a.m. Boot Scootin' Boogie

Airlines are cutting back on everything. Delta's charging an extra $50 for a second piece of luggage and I just found out that there will be no lunch on this four hour flight (luckily I brought some Pringles).

The airport, however, spares no expense. I noticed that under the X-ray table was not one but two of those cowboy boot shoehorn things. I guess the lines were experiencing a lot of cowboy boot-related slowdowns. 

I haven't seen a lot of cowboys on this flight, but I have noticed quite a few Morty Seinfelds. They must all be on their way back to Del Boca Vista for HOA board elections.

Noon Made of Boring

As opposed to, say, Continental Airlines where you get your own TV, Delta offers just one movie option. And my luck? "Made of Honor." I'd say I'd like the last two hours of my life back, but then I wouldn't currently be flying somewhere over Tulsa, Oklahoma.

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