Pretty Fly (For a Radio Show)

Here's a sneak peek at my review for IN of the Offspring's performance at the X96 show.

The Offspring
USANA Amphitheatre
May 29, 2009

The Offspring just don't get no respect. They've never been cool like Green Day or teenage heartthrobs like Blink 182. (This could certainly be due to tracks like "Pretty Fly For a White Guy" or singer Dexter Holland's awful braided hair in the '90s). But the reality is that they've consistently churned out hit after hit for 15 years.

This was made abundantly clear at USANA Amphitheatre Friday night. The set list played like a greatest hits album as the weathered So Cal punks blistered through fan favorites past and present.

The foursome opened up with 2008's "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid" and 1994's expletive-filled sing-along "Bad Habit" and didn't slow down for the next 30 minutes—when Dexter Holland made the only rockstar indulgence of the night, rolling out a piano for a solo performance of "Gone Away." (Though it was a nice change of pace, it was far from a masterful reworking of the great song.)

The biggest chunk of older songs came from 1998's "Americana," including "Staring at the Sun," "Pretty Fly," and the album's title track. But the band was not afraid of busting out new materials as well. In addition to "Go Far, Kid," the band rifled through "Hammerhead," and "Kristy, Are You Doing Okay?" all of which were show highlights.

The show's best moment, however, came when every person in the crowd shouted along to every word to "Self Esteem," the most popular song to ever use the word "dweeb." Who would have thought that song would still be so good after 15 years?

It was hard to find a bad moment during the hour-plus set. It's easy to see why this band has been so popular for so long.

U Can't Touch This

Traci got me all excited by reminding me that The Hills season (and Lauren) finale was tonight, only to find that it hadn't DVR'd. Boo. But now I'm happy again because I just saw a commercial for MC Hammer's new reality show "Hammertime."

When Hammer performed at UVU a few months ago, he had an entourage of camera folks with him, filming for the show. Cross your fingers that I make an appearance, as I did sign I waiver when I was filmed telling him "great show."

Am I Gay for Lil Wayne?

The Eminem hatred seems to be dying down, but views are still going up. Over 1,500 now. While I'm doing okay with all the jabs, I am quite confused. I can discern the anger in each of the comments, but I have a hard time deciphering the actual meaning of most sentences. Should I be having (or did I already have) some sort of adult relations with Lil Wayne or Kanye West? If so, is that because I like Eminem or because I don't? I think that Lil Wayne needs a bath, but Kanye West seems to have tip-top grooming. So, you know, whatever.

Dear Shady, Thanks for Sending Your Rabid, Poor-Spelling Fans

I don't really understand techmology, but somehow my review of Eminem's new album was the top search result on Google this morning (Search for "eminem relapse review." My IN article now shows up second). So thanks to Google, a review that would normally get 100-ish views in a week, has had nearly 800 views in one day. More interesting are the rabid, poorly spelled comments, calling me the worst album reviewer ever. I guess that's something.

Music-Free Monday, er, Tuesday

Yesterday, I went the entire work day without music. Zero. No iPod, no imeem, nuthin. This was not because of any grand protest, just because I was so busy doing health insurance. What a drag.

I won't make the same mistake again, I'll tell you what. I started the morning off with some Misfits in the car. I'm now in the office, rockin' the shuffle and iPod knows just what I need--a lot of Millencolin and Heideroosjes. Oh, and it just popped up "Walking With a Ghost" by Tegan & Sara. Thank you, iPod.

The Rest is Still Unwritten

In just a minute here, I will watch one of the last two episodes with Lauren "LC" Conrad still on The Hills. I haven't felt this sad since Traci and I said goodbye to The OC a few years back. Luckily, I've got Josie & The Pussycats on the DVR to cheer me up.

Cherry Pie?

I just noticed that I have the entire "Best of Warrant" CD on my iTunes. Where did it come from? What is it doing there? I have no idea, but I do know that heaven isn't too far away-ayyy. Hallelujah.

Shady, Why You Gotsta Have Such a Bad Mouth?

I thought this state was supposed to be conservative. You’d think it’d be easy enough to get a hold of an edited copy of Eminem’s “Relapse.” Nope.

 

I’m going to review it for IN and I figured I could eliminate some of the disgustingness with a clean copy. I knew I could find one at Wal-Mart, but I despise Wal-Mart. So I headed to Best Buy. They had 8,000 copies of the album, but none edited. Same thing at Target. So I gave in and went to Wal-Mart. Three stores in one night is quite a task for one dad and two kids.

 

Out of all the CDs surrounding us in our travels, Paige was of course able to find stuff she likes everywhere we went. Somehow she managed to get a hold of “Andre Rieu Live in Vienna,” “Two Tongues,” and “Now That’s What I Call Music 29,” which contains her current favorite song, Katy Perry’s “Hot and Cold,” or as she calls it, “Your Hoppin’ You’re Cold.” (The second she saw it she immediately started singing, “Your hoppin’ your cold/You’re yes and you’re no…”)

 

I finally bought the CD at Wal-Mart. I love that the clean version costs $5 more than the original. Who knew swears were such a bargain these days?

 

What Does Recording an Album in the Basement Look Like?

The real question is "What does it sound like?" Well, you'll have to keep waiting for the answer to that question, but we did get the drums done for four new songs. That's a whole EP right there, my friend! Now we just need to do guitar, more guitar, bass, vocals, lots more vocals, and then mix the thing. Final product should be any day now.

Album of the Year

Never one to disappoint God, Danny and I will taking the day off tomorrow to track drums for a forthcoming Johnny Tightlips release. We're recording in my basement so the quality should be, you know, excellent. I have spent the last hour nailing LoveSac sleeping bags to the unfinished, concrete walls to get that sweet studio sound. I'm a regular Phil Spector (minus the girlfriend murdering).

Wish us luck.

Sorry Holland, I Guess I Don't Need You Anymore

In Holland and Belgium (and I'm guessing throughout Europe), instead of fast food restaurants, there are little snack shops on corners that sell French Fries or "frites." The best are the Vlaamse Frites (Flemish Fries) and they come topped with your choice of ketchup, curry ketchup, peanut sauce, mayonnaise, or patat oorlog (potato war)--which is the combination of all of those things. Though it took a while to get used to, mayo became my topping of choice.

There are times when I just want some frites so bad, and regular fries and crappy American mayonnaise just don't do the trick. The only solution is a $500 flight to Amsterdam. Until now.

Belgian Pierre Vandamme just opened up a Frites and Belgian waffels shop (Bruges Waffles & Frites) across the street from Pioneer Park in downtown SLC (336 W Broadway). He hand makes the fries and the waffles himself and they are absolutely amazing. Traci and I ate there tonight and she just about died from delight from the waffle covered in Belgian chocolate.

It was delightful. Lekker. Heerlijk. Zalig. Go there. And invite me.

http://www.brugeswaffles.com/

Red Jumpsuit Apparatus Needs a Hug

I'm trying to get a hold of The Offspring to do an interview for their upcoming performance at the X96 show. X96 has been helpful in getting me band contacts, but kind of a pulled a bait and switch on me--lining up a Red Jumpsuit Apparatus interview for me before passing me on to The Offspring.

RJA's big hit was 2006's "Face Down," a track that doesn't do much for me. Apparently, a lot of folks that interview singer Ronnie Winter must feel the same way. The guy's pretty defensive.



I'd been talking to him for about five seconds when he started in on "Critics don't like us, but we've sold millions of records, and we write great songs, and we're really talented, and so it doesn't matter what people think."

That was in response to "How has the success of 'Face Down' affected the band?" Inferiority complex, anyone? He then went on to explain how he played tuba in the college band--he needed to emphasize that he was a very talented tuba player--and how he formed the band with friends from his high school AP music class. I never thought I'd hear a singer in a rock band try to establish street cred by referencing his tuba skills. Very strange interview.

Still waiting on The Offspring.

Goodbye Pompadour, Hello Ladies' Man

The Hair. Before and After.

A The Radioman Says It's a Beautiful Night Out There

I've been asked to record a little "album that changed your life"-type thing for local public radio station KRCL. Here are the questions I'm supposed to address:

1. Describe the first time you heard the album. Put us there. How did it affect you?

2. Tell us something we may not know about the artists or the album; do a bit of research.

3. What do you want the audience to walk away with after listening to music that you selected?

Though it's going to be like two minutes long, I, of course, am taking it deathly serious. Now that I finally have the chance to talk about what I always want to talk about, what am I going to talk about?

My first thoughts were to talk about one of the bands I've loved the longest--Millencolin, Bad Religion, Catch 22, or even Weezer. But I don't really have stories about those bands. (I always have stories, but probably not interesting stories.) I toyed with Nada Surf's "Let Go," but had the same problem. But I think I've got one.

It's gonna be "Control" by Pedro the Lion. What am I going to say? Well, I don't want to give away the ending.

I'm so nervous.

(Potty) Train Wreck

I was reading a mommy blog the other day and the mommy author made reference to potty training being "not that big of deal." She then said that she thinks a lot of moms make a big deal out of a lot of stuff that isn't really that big of deal. Well, this mommy (or dad, whatevs.) has something to say about that!

Paige has been "potty trained" (those are sarcasm quotes) for months now. Yet nearly ever trip to the old water closet is a gigantic task. It has not been easy. Though it has certainly had some comical moment, overall, it is an incredibly frustrating endeavor.

Funny: Paige screams from the bathroom at the top of the stairs, "Mom, I did the poops! It looks like the letter C. No, it looks like a U."

Challenging: Paige, Curtis, Spencer at the Taylorsville library. Paige decides she needs to go RIGHT NOW. We hustle to the men's bathroom which contains two urinals and a stall. The stall is filled with a man, lots of grunting, an unimaginable smell, and no sign of ending soon. Spencer, seeing no other option, holds Paige over the urinal and hopes for the best.

Infuriating: Tonight Paige is tired and filled with rage. I try to get her to go the bathroom before she goes to bed, which she does. However, she refuses to put the toilet paper in the toilet after she is done. When I finally do so for her, she gets upset and grabs it back out of the toilet. Arrghhh!

Endearing: A few weeks back. I ask her if she can "do it by herself." No, she wants me to help her. Fine. What I didn't expect was her scooting over on the seat and saying, "Come on, dad."

What a lovable little monster. I will die a premature death.

You and Me, We Have a Disease. You Affect Me, You Infect Me.

I took Curtis to the InstaCare on Saturday night. (We headed there the second we thought he was sick. We're not about to make another $1,300 trip to the ER. Another story for another time). While we were checking in, we stood next to a teenage punk boyfriend/girlfriend couple.

He had a mohawk and a KMFDM t-shirt (man, that band has great artwork), she had rad hair and big gauges. Of course I tried to eavesdrop on her explaining her symptoms to the receptionist.

"I have pain in my side and my kidneys...but it doesn't hurt when I pee or anything."

I was thinking what I'm sure everyone thinks when they see punks-in-love at the InstaCare--STD. It's gotta be an STD. Punks are always up to no good. Yes, definitely an STD. Or maybe swine flu. I took two squirts of the anti-bac on the desk and held my breath.

Curtis didn't have an STD or swine flu. Just an ear infection like always. No report yet on the punks.