Free Fiona

 

There's nothing the world loves more than rage and misery. We live to see the catfights on "The Bachelor," it's not worth watching the current season of "The Apprentice" unless Chris turns into a screaming banshee in the Board Room. How else do you explain Spencer's continued love for Pedro the Lion, a man whose songs and voice inspires deep depression in me every time I hear it. There's just something about seeing those emotions laid bare on T.V. , in a movie, or in a song that makes us all feel a little less bad about ourselves.

So, thinking about these two beloved topics - rage and misery - I write today to ask Sony music (and the world in general) a question- "Why won't you release Fiona Apple's latest album, Extraordinary Machine?" If there is any artist that sums up a world of misery and rage, it is Fiona Apple. For years, Fiona has continued to rage rage rage against everything. Even Alanis Morrissette finally got happy. Not Fiona. And I need her rage!! Her album has been finished for two years, but Sony won't release it because they think it won't sell.

I found a website a few months ago called freefiona.com. The guy who started this website envisioned the whole world rising up and converging on Sony headquarters in New York City. He also encouraged those who couldn't make it to mail things to Sony headquarters on a certain day. So I did my part by printing off a picture of an apple and writing the words "Free Fiona" on the page and mailing it off. According to our friend, the Internet, the protest in January wasn't quite what the organizer hoped it would be. I think that somewhere between 8-15 people showed up. I wonder if my apple even made it past the mail room.

But thank goodness, someone leaked the entire album online, so I have been enjoying it for the last two weeks now. What's not marketable about it? So what if every song sounds like a crazy, angry circus - it sounds exactly the same as her last two albums, both of which were big sellers. So I say "Come on Sony, free Fiona. Let us the consumer enjoy her misery and rage, and we'll let you enjoy our hard earned dollars and you'll rage all the way to the bank."