Day Two: The Radical Paradigm Shift

Look at me reading the complimentary New York Times like a real business man.

9:15 The conference begins...

I got exactly one minute into the continental breakfast before spilling orange juice on my shirt (I can hear Traci sighing aloud. She told me to bring an extra shirt.) Two minutes into the breakfast, Sean looks around and says what I am already thinking. "I know that this is only a dental insurance conference, but there sure are a lot of bad teeth here." I don't think I want to go to that speeding dating session anymore.

10:30 Leadership...to the EXTREME!!!

Just sat through a presentation called "Extreme Leadership." Buzz words a plenty. I couldn't help thinking about Poochie the Rockin' dog.

Krusty: (Brainstorming about Poochie) So he's proactive, huh?

Network Executive: Oh God, yes. We're talking about a totally outrageous paradigm.

Writer: Excuse me, but, "proactive" and "paradigm?" Aren't those just buzzwords that dumb

people use to sound important? Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that.

(Silent pause in the room.)

Writer: I'm fired, aren't I?

Roger Meyers Jr.: Oh, yes

Day 1: Trip To Orlando, Now Cocaine Free

10 a.m. And it begins...

Off on my first business flight. This is my second work trip, but I don't know how official last year's man-cation to St. George with Tim really was. 

I'm headed to Orlando with my boss Sean for a dental insurance conference. I'm not exactly sure what we're going to be learning once we're there, but I do know that there is a speed dating course offered. Traci said I can't go. She has also forbidden me from the following:

• Looking at naked people (girls or boys)
• Drinking beer
• Doing cocaine

I was hoping this would finally be my chance to starting using cocaine--what with my lousy kids out of the picture--but alas, Traci has thwarted my plans.

11 a.m. Boot Scootin' Boogie

Airlines are cutting back on everything. Delta's charging an extra $50 for a second piece of luggage and I just found out that there will be no lunch on this four hour flight (luckily I brought some Pringles).

The airport, however, spares no expense. I noticed that under the X-ray table was not one but two of those cowboy boot shoehorn things. I guess the lines were experiencing a lot of cowboy boot-related slowdowns. 

I haven't seen a lot of cowboys on this flight, but I have noticed quite a few Morty Seinfelds. They must all be on their way back to Del Boca Vista for HOA board elections.

Noon Made of Boring

As opposed to, say, Continental Airlines where you get your own TV, Delta offers just one movie option. And my luck? "Made of Honor." I'd say I'd like the last two hours of my life back, but then I wouldn't currently be flying somewhere over Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Bye, Bye Doug. We Hardly Knew Ye.

Lamest. Breakup. Ever.

Why are all of Lauren's new L.A. boyfriends just boyfriends that she had when she was in high school--Jason, Stephen, Doug? I'm guessing that it is probably hard to meet someone who wants to date you and have that relationship scripted and taped. But then again, it is L.A., where everyone wants to be an actor. So I guess the real problem is that guys just don't want to date Lauren because she's boring.

Shocking News! Acting Debut Surfaces on Internet

It's just the price you have to paywhen you're famous--racy videos of you appearing on the internet. I am no exception. My acting debut recently found its way onto the world wide web. (Thanks, Ike.)

Back in the innocence of 2002, I had a video production class at the U. Our final project was to create a five minute video based on the theme "The Odd Couple." We split up into groups of five and started brainstorming. We went around the circle trying to figure out if anyone had anything cool to contribute.

Ike had access to a mailman hat, I had some hand puppets, Rashed had the fact that he was from Kuwait, Brett knew to handle the production, and Becca mentioned that she happened to live in the basement of a mortuary. Thus Rashed's Neighborhood was born.

The best part for me was Rashed trying to get the grasp on the whole thing. He was an exchange student and still working on his English. He'd obviously never seen Mr. Roger's Neighborhood before, but he watched a couple of episodes for research. His Mexican girlfriend was also an exchange student, learning English. Together, the two of them worked on learning the lyrics to the theme song. They tried their best, but usually here's the best they could come up with:

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, beautiful day neighbor...hood.

Ah, close enough.

So, with no further introduction, here's Rashed's Neighborhood. (Notice my lush, full head of hair.)



Here's Ike's (a.k.a. Speedy Delivery Guy) version of the story.

All The Things Curtis is Not

Curtis shows the happiness that comes from Grandma giving you 'business hair'

Paige spends every waking moment talking. She comfortably executes both sides of the conversation, but still has to be acknowledged in everything she says.

Example:

PAIGE: Where's Danny? (the drummer in my band)
ME: [I am forced to repeat this question in order for her to answer. If I don't she just keeps asking, FOREVER.] Where's Danny?
PAIGE: He's at playing the drums.

We have this same conversation about airplanes, helicopters, grandma, kids in her nursery class, and the moon...every day.

The other night, Traci was at work and I was hanging out with both of the kids. Paige and I had to have the following conversation:

PAIGE: Is Curtis a refrigerator?
ME: Is Curtis a refrigeratior?
PAIGE: No!!!
PAIGE: Is Curtis a window?
ME: Is Curtis a window?
PAIGE: Nooooo!!!

This went on for about half an hour. We were able to determine that Curtis was not in fact a kitchen, a ball, a dog, or a computer (thank goodness!); nor was he in the swing, in the tub, or outside. Fortunately, we did get to the bottom of the mystery. Paige was able to verify that he was "a cute little guy," "a little brother," and "on the floor." Phew. I had really been worried that Curtis was either a lamp, a couch, or a tuba.

MHS X: The Mixtape

Though the reunion may have been a bit of a disappointment, it wasn't a total loss. I had a little nostalgia trip all by myself. I was asked to put together a mixtape for the event, allowing me to dive headfirst into '96-'98 mode.

I avoided all temptation to put in my own personal favorites and went straight for the hits. And man, what hits! Chumbawamba, Savage Garden, Backstreet Boys. Music was never better before or since.

Here are the top song 100 of 1996, 1997, and 1998.

Digging through these songs was kind of like the reunion itself. For me, 1996-1998 was more about watching Local H at Saltair or driving to Sacramento to see Millencolin play than doing the Macarena. But Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" automatically produces a mental snapshot of every dance my senior year.

The songs that really meant a lot to me in '98 have made the journey with me throughout the past decade. I was just listening to Millencolin last night. They keep putting out new records, and I buy (actually buy) all of them. And believe it or not, Local H will be playing at the Big Ass show next month.

It's pretty much the same with friends. I've kept in touch with a number of high school friends (plus I'm married to one of 'em) over the years. They've been there for college and weddings and parenthood and I'm sure they'll still be around in another 10 years. So it's not really that big of a deal to seem them at some awkward event.

Regardless, it feels great to hear to Jewel, or White Town, or even NSync once in a while. Just like it's nice to run into an old prom date at the Wal-Mart. Hooray for forced nostalgia. I guess I'm going to have to start posting old dance pictures on the blog. Whatevs.

Here's a few tracks from the MHS X mix...

Powered by simple.myfabrik.com

MHS X: The Recount

Spencer & Ramsi

Three weeks after the infamous High School Reunion, I am finally able to pull myself up off the ground and write about the all of the drama and excitement. Oh wait, there wasn't any. On an interesting scale from 1-10 it was about a 1.

I think I was hoping to see classmates who had become superstars, drug addicts, cross dressers, millionaires. Nope. I guess if you fit into any of those categories you have better things to do than go to your high school reunion.

Everyone looked pretty much the same, though a lot of dudes had less hair (which made me feel better about my male pattern baldness). The usual conversation went pretty much like this.

"Er, so what's been up with you for past 10 years?"
"Uh, I've got some kids and a job and stuff."
"Sweet, see you in another 10 years."

I thought I'd at least be able to count on some reminiscing and nostalgia, but none really to be had. Fortunately, I found all of that elsewhere. I was put in charge of making the evening's mixtape...

Say It Ain't Lo

The Hills is back and I couldn't be happier. Unfortunately, with the premier episode of Season 4, I had to face an inconvenient truth. I hate Lo.

Lo, you can't get your feelings hurt when Audrina says you'll never be friends. You don't like her. You're not nice to her. Oh, Lo, what's happened to you?

The Grumbly Knight

I really enjoyed the Dark Knight, but I was a bit bugged by Christian Bale's "Batman voice." I guess that's just how superheroes have to talk these days. However, I was happy to know that I wasn't the only one to find it a bit ridiculous.

You only need to watch about the first 30 seconds to get the point, but the punching is generally funny throughout:

Second Kid Blues

Curtis is right to be frightened of his scary big sister

I can already tell that Curtis is getting different treatment than Paige did. Case in point, we made Paige wait until the mature age of two years old before going to her first concert. Curtis got to see Nada Surf at just three months. Lucky dude.

The show was at the Gallivan Center and I thought we'd be able to find a place where we could sit down and see the band. No. Having to settle for one or the other, we chose sitting down. Traci and Curtis spent the evening on the grass. Paige and I alternated between sitting with them and watching the show. I gauged her enjoyment level by the intensity with which she pounded my head while she sat on my shoulders.

I was very happy to get to see the band and the rest of the family seemed to have a good time as well. The last song, however, reminded me that I might want to keep the kids home for a few more years. Singer Matthew Caws encouraged the crowd to join in the refrain of "The Blankest Year," by screaming "*&$# it! I'm gonna have a party" repeatedly. After the second or third time, I was sure that Paige would have learned a new phrase. Fortunately, she wasn't paying attention.

I know she catches on to lyrics. She has to sing and dance along every time we see the Ting Tings iPod commercial. When it hits the chorus she loves to yell "Shut up and let me go. Hey!"

Life of the Pool Party

Curtis made his swimming pool debut tonight. It took a half hour to pour him into this getup (at 3 months, he’s a bit too big for this 6 month swimsuit). After five minutes of having his feet in the pool, he promptly fell asleep. Party animal.

Endlessly Walking Through the Desert: Daft Punk's Electroma

From the human body/dog head awesomeness of Da Funk, to the anime-tastic to full-length Interstella 5555, Daft Punk has always had great visuals. Thus I eagerly anticipated the French duo's directorial debut.

It's no surpise that the movie is about two robots named Daft Punk. Though Electroma is an hour long, I can give you the whole script in 30 seconds. SPOILER ALERT!!!

Robots drive through desert (10 minutes).
Robots reach the equivalent of Burley, Idaho. All inhabitants look like Daft Punk (5 minutes).
Robots go to old rec center administration building to receive putty-based human faces (10 minutes).
Townsfolk don't appreciate the faux humans (5 minutes).
Putty faces melt off in the sun. The robots are very sad (5 minutes).
Robots walk endlessly back through the desert (10 minutes).
One robot is so sad that he is not a human that he chooses to self-destruct (5 minutes).
Other robot walks for a long time before he realizes he is sad, too. He chooses to set himself on fire and walk off into the distance. (10 minutes).

The film includes absolutely zero dialogue, extremely minimal ambiant sound and about 10 minutes of music (not Daft Punk music).

After I watched it the first time, I was a little disappointed. But after I sat back and thought about it, it turns out it was the best movie in the history of the world.

Here's a clip:



Thanks to Traci, you can't rent a copy down to the Murray Library.

Heard It on the Internet: Burntpiano

For all the hype, the MGMT album is not that great. However, I really like this instrumental cover of "Kids.".

Burntpiano was bored at work so he just went ahead and recorded this track.

"It was a slow day at work today, so I was messing around with some new synths, trying to find new sounds. I started playing everyone's favorite synthline, and one thing led to another, and I had a half finished track. I went home and finished it up. The track I guess really isn't a remix, but rather a cover, since I didn't use any elements from the original. And the vocals (which may piss some off) are from a computer. Not anything trying to replace the original or the upcoming soulwax remix, but just something fun." (via Southside Discotech)

MGMT - Kids (Burntpiano Robo Remix) [MP3]

Do It Again!

I put Curtis in the tub for my first time the other day. I get intimidated by the fragility of newborns, so I let Traci handle tubby time. I usually wrestle with Paige instead.

But Traci was at work and I was feeling brave so I decided to give it a shot, with Paige's help of course.

Things were going well. Paige and I were both hunched over his little tub scrubbing him down when a high-arching spray shot right for us. Luckily we were both able to dodge it. I was caught off guard and thrown off of my game plan. Paige, however, was blissfully amused.

"Curtis squirt!" she squealed. "Do it again!"

I was happy, Paige was sad, when he didn't do it again.

Our little spelling bee

Paige loves to spell. She has moved on from asking us to spell words and then just repeating. Now she has to spell them herself. She's pretty good at spelling "mom," and usually "dad." But when she tries those words back to back, sometimes she gets a bit mixed up.

Spencer: Paige, Can you spell dad?
Paige: M...
Spencer: No, it's starts with an D.
Paige: Oh, D-A-M.

Hmmm.

The Reunion

I survived the reunion. Details to follow...

MHS X

Since my excuse for not going to my high school reunion fell through (thanks for nothing RB), I have made the leap and shelled out the $40 to RSVP for the, er, fun.

http://murray98reunion.blogspot.com/

I'm sure now that everyone knows I'm attending, RSVP numbers will spike.

Life as a Naked Kid on an Album Cover

Ever wonder what happen to that kid on the cover of Nirvana's Nevermind? Well, my friend Ty wondered, and found the answer:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92833535

Brother, Can You Spare Some Career Change?

I decided it was time to quit my job and become a professional blogger. If that chick Dooce can do it, why can't I? I'm sure I could be a disgruntled Mormon, too, if I tried hard enough.

So I put the ads back up on the site. It's taken me like a month to make $28, so I'm guessing I'll have to keep working at insurance a bit longer. I even checked out "How to Make Money with Your Blog" from the library. It's a bit of a misnomer, because the authors just say "you can't really make money with your blog." Apparently, the real money is writing books about how you make money with your blog.

I am always a man of many side jobs. After two years of writing for Utah Business Magazine, I decided to move on. My latest gig has been writing marketing pieces for multi-level marketing companies. (Dirty, huh?)

I am currently writing a book about the million uses of silver. Silver fixes everything. What's awesome is that it can be used both as a toothpaste and a rectal cream. This will is very helpful when you're trying to pack light for a business trip.

The book also includes an entire section called "Women's Issues," but I won't go into that here. Let me just say that I now know where babies come from.

What's My Age Again?

A few weeks ago I decided I needed a Misfits hoodie. My friend Tim picked one up for me down to the local Hot Topic. Unfortunately, it was either a girl's hoodie or just emo-boy sized. The whole fam went to the mall with me to return it. Once we got there we split up. Traci took Paige to the American Eagle and Curtis, the stroller and I went to the Hot Topic.

You know you're too old for a place like that when you walk in and your first thought is "What's wrong with these aisles? I can't even push the stroller through here." My next thought was that "I'm probably too old if to be in here if I am old enough to be pushing a stroller." My next thought was "I was too old to be here when I was 12."

I looked at the display of Alkaline Trio t-shirts behind the register and then looked down at the Alkaline Trio shirt I was wearing. I guess the real problem is that I have the same music tastes as a 12-year-old.

---

Tonight I went on splits with the missionaries. After our appointment, I dropped the elder off at the SLCC Institute. The missionaries were hanging out at the singles ward family night.

I haven't been to a singles ward thing in seven years. Somehow nothing has changed. The first person I saw was a 6'3" beanpole guy, wearing jean shorts, no socks and shoes, and dancing around in front of a bunch of sweet spirited girls.

Yep, don't miss that part of being younger. Not even a bit.

whitetrash wednesday part III

6:30 p.m.

Still no takers. The table is back in the house. Traci wins.

white trash update

3:15 p.m.

Traci called and said the table is still on the curb.

I said, "Just wait until 5:00. That's the money hour."

Keep your fingers crossed.

white trash wednesday (on a friday)

We got some new furniture for our living room, which means it's time to get rid of the old, hand-me-down stuff we had in there. Traci's little sister took the couches, but we still have a little table/shelf thing left over.

Rather than haul it off to the D.I., I decided to just stick a "free" sign on it and put it on the curb. Easier for me and a nice treat for somebody who can use it, right?

Traci was (and still is) mortified by my whitetrashedness. She's not happy about it.

I put it out there last night before we went to bed. I told her I'd only keep it out there for one day. So if it's not gone by the end of the day, I'll have to get rid of it myself. And Traci wins. No one wants that.

Record Reviews: Reggie & The Full Effect, Motley Crue

Reggie and the Full Effect
Last Stop: Crappy Town

What began as a side project for Get Up Kids keyboardist James Dewees has turned into quite an impressive catalog. Though Reggie records have never been meant to be taken too seriously--thanks to Dewees' penchant for genre hopping, comedy skits and slew of alter-egos—they are all very lovable.

On "Last Stop: Crappy Town," Dewees continues to mix styles, but the humor is largely absent. The result is a constant battle between sweet power pop and hardcore so screamy that it hurts your voice just to listen to it. Unfortunately, without the usual middle ground, this Reggie album fails to stand out.

Rating: 2 of 4
For Fans of: Cobra Starship, Taking Back Sunday

Motley Crue
Saints of Los Angeles

When your best moments all happened 20 years ago, it makes sense that you'd want to wax a bit nostalgic. "Saints of Los Angeles" finds the '80s bad boys looking back at their career and remembering the good times. "LA girls they payed the rent/While we got drunk on Sunset Strip/And all the cash they made we spent/On tattoos and cigarettes." Add in Nikki Sixx clinically dying from heroin not once, but twice, and you've basically got the whole story of the band.

Though the album has plenty of filler, there are a few songs to get the testosterone going, namely "Face Down in the Dirt" and "MF of the Year." After all these years, Vince Neil still has a strong set of pipes, Mick Mars can still shred (despite actually being a walking ghost), Nikki Sixx holds down the low end and the irrepressible Tommy Lee adds just enough cowbell.

Saints of Los Angeles [MP3] (Via GloriousNoise)

Rating:2.5 of 4
For Fans of: Poison, Sixx: A.M.

You can find my reviews and band interviews each week at IN Utah This Week.

Heard It on the Internet: Does It Offend You, Yeah?

MTV does still show videos...at 11 p.m. on Sunday night...for one hour...with commercials. MTV's Subterranean is the new incarnation of 120 Minutes, focusing mostly on indie and experimental stuff.

Every once in a while I'll find something I like. Does It Offend You, Yeah? is a pretty lousy name for a band, but makes some entertaining, dancey, vocoder fun. I checked out the album this morning. Not half bad.

Dawn of the Dead [Mp3]
We are Rockstars [MP3]

floyd the barber

I'm now so cheap that I cut my own hair. Sometimes I use a mirror for the back, sometimes not. Last week I asked Traci if she'd start cutting it for me. She said, "I can't cut hair."

Two days later, Paige came downstairs after Traci gave her a bath. I noticed something about her hair.

"Traci, what happened to Paige's hair?"

"I cut it. What's wrong?"

"It's like three inches shorter on one side than the other."

[Traci inspects her work.] "Well, she was sitting on the floor, looking up at the TV while I cut it."

Paige won't even let us touch her hair, let alone cut it. We've had to be very sneaky when cutting it lately. Usually my mom does it while Paige is playing in her backyard. ("Hey Paige, what's that over there?" Snip, snip.) This time, Traci took the task upon herself.

Traci was able to solve the length discrepancy and Paige is now cuter than ever.

Alkaline Trio Agony & Irony

Alkaline Trio
Agony & Irony
Unfortunately being a bitter, emotional wreck only stays interesting for so long. Alkaline Trio was wise to accept that they couldn't make entrails-on-sleeve punk rock forever. In recent years they've settled for a slower, darker sound that, though less exciting, is more convincing as they grow older.

Their first major label release feels much like their last two independent efforts. The songs are slickly polished, heavily produced and filled with the usual spooky imagery. It seems a bit formulaic, but works nevertheless. Strong tracks like "Calling All Skeletons," "In Vein," and "Help Me" will push t-shirts sales at Hot Topic while still giving long-time fans enough reason to remain loyal.

If you're missing the Alkaline Trio of yesteryear, 2007's compilation "Remains" is actually the band's best release in years.

Rating: 3 of 4
For Fans of: My Chemical Romance, The Lawrence Arms

Alkaline Trio - "Help Me"

Who's the Real Tromboner?

I did an interview with ska punk veterans Less Than Jake yesterday. I've never really actively listened to the band, but I'm familiar enough with their stuff and throughout the years I've seen them play a few times. I saw them open up for Blink 182 back in the Dude Ranch days and I'm sure I've seen them at Warped Tour. I was looking forward to talking to them.

Their publicist told me I'd be doing a phone interview with Buddy the trombone player. (My keyboarding friend Brian says the only person in the band less interesting in a band than a horn player is the keyboardist.) Buddy was cool, but I couldn't help feeling like an idiot.

I always try to do my homework before I do an interview, but this time I didn't even have a chance to listen to their new album before talking to the band. It came back to bite me.

ME: So, tell me about the new record...
BUDDY: What do you want to know?
ME: Uh, well I haven't had a chance to listen to it yet, but...
BUDDY: You haven't listened to it yet? How are we supposed to talk about it if you haven't listened to it?

I also tried talk to him about the band starting their own label. Their drummer Vinnie founded Fueled By Ramen (Fall Out Boy's original label), so I asked a question about that as well. But I got mixed up on the names. And what I thought was an intelligent question was all wrong.

ME: Did you ever considered just putting the record out on Fueled By Ramen?
BUDDY: Why would we put a record out on Fueled by Ramen? We started our own label.
ME: I know, but Roger (stutter, stutter) and Fueled by Ramen (stammer) and you know...
BUDDY: He hasn't worked there in like three years.

So it was a struggle. I'm sure Buddy thought I was an idiot. If you are looking for an uncomfortable 13 minutes, here you go:

Less Than Jake Interview [WMA]

A Sheep, A Goat and A Motorbicycle

Summer time means weekends at Grandpa's sheep ranch. It's crazy that it's already Paige's third season up there. She was excited to go because we promised she would see five of her favorite things - a sheep, a cow, a horse, a goat and a tractor.

Time at the ranch basically equals eating lots of food and riding around on the four wheelers. At six months she would sit on the four wheeler with me in indifference. At a year-and-a-half she was scared to death of the thing. This year she started out scared, but once she took her first ride, she never wanted to get back off.

She calls it the "motor bicycle" and throughout each ride she'd periodically say to me, "It's fun play motor bicycle." Before we'd get on she'd always make sure to put on her riding hat and glasses (which are strangely familiar to her "it's fun play swimming pool" hat and glasses).

Traci took this photo of us. Paige saw it about one minute later, while she was still in sight of the actual ATV. "Motor bicycle!" she screamed in delight, as though she had seen an old friend.



Paige inherited her father's keen sense of fashion.

Heard It on the Internet: Neon Coyote

Take Jay-Z's smooth delivery and mix it with Neon Coyote's minimal production and you end up this killer track:

Jay-z feat. Pharrell - I Know (Neon Coyote Remix) [MP3] (via Asian Dan)

Death Cab for Cutie Narrow Stairs

Death Cab for Cutie
Narrow Stairs

Death Cab for Cutie had the all pressure of the indie world on its shoulders when it moved to a major label for its 2005 release, "Plans." The band rose to the challenge. The resulting record was both perfectly polished and beautifully intimate.

"Narrow Stairs" is the antithesis to "Plans." Loose and a bit rough around the edges, the new record feels much more organic than its immediate predecessor. This approach works well on the album opener "Bixby Canyon Bridge" and the eight-minute vamp "I Will Possess Your Heart." But the rest of the album just feels cheaply constructed.

Softer songs always work best for Ben Gibbard's shaky tenor and "Grapevine Fires" and "Your New Twin Sized bed" add some emotion to a surprisingly uninteresting outing. For the first time in their career, "Narrow Stairs" finds Death Cab just going through the motions.

Your New Twin Sized Bed [MP3] (via www.theseanshow.net)

Rating: 2.5 of 4
For Fans of: Pedro the Lion, Nada Surf, Postal Service

Heard It On the Internet: Vol. I

As a cubicle dweller, I sit in front of a computer all day long and go crazy if I'm not listening to music. I visit a lot of different MP3 sites to keep me from hearing the sound of my own work. I've decided to start posting songs that grab my attention as I wander around internetland.

I've always loved albums. If I hear a song I really like, but can't get into the rest of the artist's material, I instantly pass on it. I rarely even put those songs on my iPod. Hence, iTunes--and the entire concept of a single--doesn't work for me.

But there are certainly great songs out there. I'm too single snobby. So here's a song I like, based entirely on the song itself:

Pop Levi - Never Never Love [via Stereogum]

Golf, Anyone?

This is what Curtis wears when he needs to head off to the links.

Born to Rock

Here's Curtis in the Born to Rock onesy my mom bought him at the Hard Rock Hotel. My family members keep saying that he doesn't look like either Traci or me.

Bald + Happy

10 years after high school and Ricky and I each have plenty of kids and not enough hair.

I feel like Homer when he said:

Homer: Okay, here's the solution. I want you kids to lock the bedroom from the outside so I can't get out and perpetrate my nocturnal mischief.

Bart: Why don't you just stop taking the pills you hothead?

Homer: Because I'm filled with stress! [smacks him on the back of the head and moans] I've got three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three moneys?

The Offspring Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace

The Offspring
Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace

People stopped using "Offspring" and "cool" in the same sentence at least 10 years ago. But the band has continued to steadily release quality records that always manage to contain plenty of punk rock and at least one stupid, radio friendly hit.

"Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace" is par for the course—double time verses with big, catchy choruses. This time around they've added a few softer numbers ("A Lot Like Me," "Kristy Are You Doing Okay") to appeal to the tweener crowd, but for the most part it's still 1993 for this Southern California foursome. The Offspring may not have a lot of cred, but they still know how to write good songs.

The Offspring - Half Truism [MP3]

Rating: 3 of 4
For fans of: Pennywise, Face to Face

The Lucky Pants, Helaas Een Beetje Unlucky

I watched one Euro 2008 game before bed last night and then two today. (And then I even watched part of an MLS game on Telemundo. What's happening to me?) I think I might be having football overload. This afternoon I realized I was thinking in a Scottish accent. Darn those witty ESPN 2 commentators!

Traci bought me an Oranje t-shirt for father's day. I wore it today to support the Nederlandse Elftal, but it was not enough to prevent a loss to the Russians. I'm still crying orange tears.

Hup Holland Hup

Since the Jazz's early departure, I've lost all interest in the NBA playoffs (I am still passively rooting for Kobe to lose). I'm now focusing all of my energy on soccer. It's Euro 2008 time and the Dutch have come out of nowhere to dominant the first round.

Dutch voetbal always brings out the nostalgia in me. It's been eight years since I walked down Dutch streets painted entirely orange in support of their team--Holland hosted the tournament in 2000. I've never experienced such sports excitement and watching the watching the games with my friends the Bloms, Butler, and Wix was one of the highlights of my mission.

It's been four years since I was sneaking out from my job at the Community College to drive to Provo to watch Euro 2004 on TV with my friend RB. That was a life-changing tournament. Not because of the soccer, but because RB decided to have a kid. (Fortunately, his wife was able to give birth without making us miss any of the games.)

RB was the first of our friends to (purposely) venture into parenthood. When we found out they were going to have a kid, it became time for us to start seriously considering the proposition.
Here we are, four years later, with two little kids. It's 4:00 a.m. and Traci is sitting next to me, giving Curtis a bottle.

Paige loves playing soccer. She dribbles the ball from one side of the backyard to the other, kicks it against the fence and yells "Goooooooooooooal!!!!" So we watch Euro 2008 together and we both cheer when Holland scores. (She just likes cheering.)

For the next round, I'll probably bust out my orange, inflatable Dutch crown, Oranje jersey and wooden shoes. RB has promised to find his Snickers Lucky Pants, the orange promotional whitey-tighteys from 2000. Hup, Holland, Hup!

The Hills, LA Ink, and Alkaline Trio: Interview with Derek Grant

I basically make no dollars writing for IN Utah This Week. But so far, it's been it's been worth it. I didn't think I'd get to do something cooler than interview the Voodoo Glow Skulls, but on Friday I had a chance to be on the phone with the Alkaline Trio.

Somehow I was able to track down the name of their publicist, so I shot off an email requesting an interview. I was doubtful she'd even respond. She did. I hoped for an email interview at best, and instead was hooked up with a phone interview with Dan Andriano.

The day of the interview, the publicist sent a note that Dan was sick and that I would be interviewing drummer Derek Grant. I was a little bummed that I didn't get to talk to Dan, but Derek was extremely cool.

I asked him about the band's recent cameo on The Hills ("A girl on The Hills' [Audrina] little sister really likes the band, so they came to the studio..." and Matt Skiba's trip to L.A. Ink ("Matt's friends with Kat Von D..." ).

I haven't written up the story yet, but I plan on posting the actual phone conversation here shortly.

Interview with Derek Grant [WMA] (I forgot to push record for the first few seconds. My bad.)

A Rough Read Rolling

It took a year--yes, a year--for me to read Joseph Smith: A Rough Stone Rolling, but I did it. Written by a Mormon author, but aimed to give an unbiased history of Mormonism's founder, the book hits on both Smith's strengths and weaknesses.

I would have finished it sooner, had I not taken a break in the middle to read the 600-page autobiography of Slash (you know I can't say know to a good rock 'n roll memoir). Rough Stone Rolling was quite good, if not a bit long-winded at times. I'd definitely recommend it for Mormon folk, but it seemed too detail-heavy to be enjoyable for someone being introduced to Joseph Smith for the first time.

How Indigenous Alaskans Reach the Second Floor

Traci took Paige to the Southtown Mall on Friday. Paige discovered her new favorite thing.

When I walked in the door after work she shouted "Dad, go on eskimo-later!"

"You went on an escalator?" I asked.

"Eskimo-later." She found my question to be more of an offer and headed for the door.

Weezer: The Red Album

Weezer
(The Red Album)

That Rivers Cuomo does to me every time. I get all excited about a new Weezer release, just to be disappointed when I finally hear it. The Red Album seemed so promising, especially with the classic-Weezer first single “Pork and Beans.” But Cuomo is being literal when he sings “I'm a do the things that I wanna do/I ain't got a thing to prove to you.”

The Red Album does whatever it wants. The first quarter of the record is quite good, if not a bit odd. After kicking off with the straightforward clap-along “Troublemaker,” the band manages to shove hip-hop beats, hardcore riffage, spoken word, and a soaring finale into the six-minute “The Greatest Man that Ever Lived.” Cuomo even succeeds in name checking both Pat Benatar and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air—certainly no easy task—in the pretty “Heart Songs.”

But that’s when things go amiss. Cuomo relinquishes the microphone to his mates, resulting in the countrified “Thought I Knew,” sung by Brian Bell, the ‘90s rock “Automatic” sung by Pat Wilson, and “Cold Dark World” belted by bass man Scott Shriner. It’s nice when you let your friends have the spotlight for a second, but this is b-side material at best. And on an album with just 10 tracks, it’s a shame to throw away three of them. Sadly, this may be Weezer’s worst release.

Dunzo

I'm done with work. All I want to do is sit on the floor at home and watch reruns of CSI:Miami and The OC.

Don't tell my job. Or Traci.

That Spells...

Paige loves to spell. We spend a bunch of every car ride spelling whale, and fish, and octapus, and every other animal she can think up. Traci bought Paige a personalized sippy cup and said to her, "What are those letters? P-A-I-G-E. What does that spell?" Paige looked at her and replied, "It spells juice."

Six Weeks of Curtis

So, little Curtis has been with us for almost six weeks now. We like him pretty good and intend to keep him. (I have a friend who adopted a kid a few months ago. I was a little surprised to hear that you basically have a one year guarantee when you adopt. If it doesn't work, you can just give 'em back.)

In some ways, newborn #2 seems easier than the first one. But it's likely just a change in perspective. We had a tough go with Paige from the beginning. She had acid reflux and would cry and cry. We spent many hours bouncing her and trying to hold her just right so she'd be happy. Curtis is pretty good for the most part, though he still isn't a very good night sleeper. And he barfs a lot.

Curtis probably seems a lot easier to deal with because we are so busy trying to handle Paige. It's nice to have a kid who just lies there and never cries, "No! Bye, bye change diaper" or "Bye, bye, wear Paigey's shoes."

But adding a second kid makes everything harder. Traci and I are back in the stage where going to the grocery store, getting in the shower, or cleaning the house seems like an insurmountable task. Much planning is required for anything.

Paige is doing pretty good with Curtis, or Cur-TIS, as she calls him. She has to climb all the way over him in order to regularly "kiss his head, kiss his head." She likes to hold him. But when she's done, she just pushes him over.

Traci is getting very little sleep. But she likes the kid, too.

Death Cab for Cutie @ Thanksgiving Point

Death Cab for Cutie
w/ Tegan and Sara
May 26, 2008
Thanksgiving Point

Worst. Venue. Ever. It was bad enough that Memorial Day was a rainy mess. But it was made infinitely worse when the Death Cab for Cutie show was supposed to start at 5:00 p.m. and the Thanksgiving Point crew kept the crowd standing in line outside until 7:30 p.m. (Then, as the doors finally opened, they announced that all cars parked on the frontage road—about 200 or so—would be towed if they weren’t moved.)

Starting two-and-a-half hours late and facing a 10:00 p.m. music curfew made the event feel incredibly disjointed. Identical twin duo Tegan and Sara seemed out of sync as they tried to rush through an abbreviated opening set and Rogue Wave was dropped from the bill entirely. Death Cab didn’t fare much better, though their troubles were of their own making.

Just kicking off the promotion of their newest album “Narrow Stairs,” Ben Gibbard and the boys are understandably excited about playing the material. The problem is that the new material just isn’t that good. I was hoping that the new songs, which are much less produced than their immediate predecessors, would sound better live. No such luck. Though current single “I Will Possess Your Heart” was passionate, the rest of the “Narrow Stairs” material fell flat.

The band continued through the set, alternating between not-yet-familiar new material and obscure older songs. Occassionally, they’d throw the crowd a bone with a song or two from their best albums, “Transatlanticism” and “Plans.”

Accompanied only by his acoustic guitar, Gibbard sounded amazing on “I Will Follow You Into the Dark.” On “Soul Meets Body,” however, his thin tenor didn’t have enough power to do the song justice. It may have been the 40 degree air, but both he and guitarist Chris Walla struggled with the high notes all night long.

For all of the disappointments of the evening, Death Cab was not about to let the crowd go home unhappy. The encore featured “Title and Registration” and a shout out to the band’s early days of playing at Kilby Court. They closed the night with the phenomenal “Transatlanticism,” climaxing with Gibbard’s plea to “Come on, come on” reverberating through the Utah County night sky. All ill feelings were immediately washed away.

word association

Though she never wants to listen to us, it's obvious Paige at least hears the things we say. Now when we change her diaper she immediately says, "Whoa, big poops!" regardless of the contents.

Diapers have become very intriguing to her and she's very interested in what's going on with Curtis' diaper. Yesterday I was just about done changing him when he squirted all over me. Paige watched the whole thing in quiet amazement. After I had gotten him all cleaned up and in a new diaper, Paige declared, "All gone, water poops!" Apparently, we have never taught about urine. But she knows about water and she knows about poops. Water poops. Makes sense to me.

On a linguistic note, I also like that Paige calls motorcycles "motor bicycles" and refers to her belly button as her "tummy button." I loved when I said goodbye to her this morning she replied, "Fax me."

Reviews: Local H, Say Hi, Ting Tings

Local H
12 Angry Months

Local H’s seventh studio release is supposed to document the myriad of emotions experienced after the bitter end of a long relationship. But it turns out frontman Scott Lucas really only feels one thing--anger. “So, baby could you do me a favor?” he rants on the opening track, “Fall off the earth and I'll see you later.”

The lyrical vitriol of “12 Angry Months” is matched throughout by Brian St. Clairs’ abusive drumming and Lucas’ heavy, 70s rock guitar riffing. The duo’s approach has always been heavy-handed, but on previous records they have managed to avoid metal monotony by delivering plenty of hooks. Other than the soft strumming of “The Summer of Boats,” where Lucas admits “Life was perfectly sad, it’s perfectly sadder now,” there is not much worth remembering about his angry year. A disappointing release by our last living link to the grunge area.

Rating: 2 of 4
For fans of: Nirvana, Soundgarden

Say Hi
The Wishes and the Glitch

The band’s name has gotten shorter—cut down from Say Hi to Your Mom—but the sound has remained pretty much the same. Minimalist guitar, buzzing synth and electronic drums mixed with Eric Elbogen’s wobbly tenor and plenty of melancholy.

The tracks are beautiful in their simplicity. Channeling the The Cure’s poppy years, “The Wishes and the Glitch” allows you to dance without actually feeling happy. Elbogen’s faux-British vocals are not always in tune, but you can’t question the sincerity in his delivery.

Rating: 3.5 of 4
For fans of: Headphones, Bishop Allen

The Ting Tings
We Started Nothing

Teenager girls rejoice! The Ting Tings’ debut album has arrived just in time to be the soundtrack of your summer. When they’re not being featuring on the latest iPod commercial (with their bass-heavy disco romp “Shut Up and Let Me Go”) the British boy-girl duo are writing infectious, dance party anthems filled with cheerleader-shout vocals.

Though “We Started Nothing” has plenty of great material for a mixtape, it is so sugary sweet that it is difficult to take in one sitting. But if you can make past the half-way point, you’ll be rewarded with Cynder Lauper-esque “Keep Your Head” and the record’s best moment, the bouncy-but-restrained “Be the One.” This album isn’t rocket science, it’s summer school. Sit back and enjoy it.

Rating: 2.5 of 4
For fans of: CSS, The Raveonettes

Curtis at Three Weeks

Curtis seems slightly less amused.

Stuck in the Tree

Paige refuses to speak in sentences. But why would she, when she can express everything she wants/needs with two word phrases?

"Watch Bunny." (I want to watch the stupid Baby Einsteins movie for the 1,000th time.)
"Some fishycrackers." (I refuse to eat anything but cottage cheese, pizza, tamales or goldfish crackers. So give me some fishycrackers.)
"Bubbye church." (I've had enough religion for the day.)

Tonight we were playing with her ball in the backyard. She's getting to be quite the little soccer player and we spent a long time dribbling the ball from one side of the yard to the other before kicking it into the fence and yelling, "Gooooooooooooooooooooalllll!"

After she tired of that, she wanted me to throw the ball into the tree so it would get stuck. She would then yell excitedly, "Stuck in tree!" After I'd get it out, she would immediately yell for me to do it again, "You stuck in tree!" Which was then shortened to "You stuck! You stuck!" When she got really excited, the pronunciation lagged and it sounded like she was yelling repeatedly, "You suck! You suck!" She's so loud that I'm sure all of my neighbors could hear her taunting her poor father. Now I'll never get any respect in this town.

Go Jazz Go

I love how Larry H. Miller skips Sunday Jazz games for religious reasons, but then spends his evening being interviewed on the set of SportsBeat Sunday.

Sunday Jazz games are a funny thing for all us Mormons. If you are a ticket holder, do you go to the game? That's usually an easy decision. But what do you do with your ticket?

"Hey, not-LDS friend, I value the Sabbath day, but you don't so much. Do you want my ticket?"

Values are funny things. If you believe something is bad, but you know others like it, what do you do? Do you sell alcohol at your grocery store? Do you show Brokeback Mountain at your movie theater? Do you play rock and roll shows at Burt's Tiki Lounge?

Whatever the answer, I am happy that the Jazz were able to defend their home court.

Text Me

Now when I leave for work in the morning Paige says the following to me:

"Bye Dad."
"See ya, dad."
"Doei, dad." (Dutch for see ya)
"Call us."
And now the latest addition,
"Text me."

Curtis in Real Life

So this is pretty much what Curtis is like.

Tub-tastic

Two-and-a-half years into parenting and the gross stuff keeps coming. This morning I got Paige undressed and put her in the tub. I set her pajamas and wet diaper off to the side as we had tubby time.

By the time Paige is done, it is not uncommon for me to be pretty wet, what with all of toys be hurled out of the tub and all. Today I was sitting by the tub when I could feel something wet on the back of my pants. I looked down and I sitting on Paige's very full diaper. All of the contents had seeped out, through my two layers of clothes and to my skin. It's time for this kid to get potty trained.

Paigey vs. Curtis

My week of being home/at the hospital with my family is quickly coming to a close. The hospital stay went well enough (despite the generally poor service at Intermountain Medical Center) and we were happy that it was much shorter than our first go round. When the time came to leave, though, we were just as nervous as first-time parents. We worked to get Curtis into Paige's old car seat. We had to keep tightening and tightening those straps until it was small enough to fit the little guy. When we got him in the car we both immediately had the feeling of 'what are we going to do with this kid now?'

The first big challenge was facilitating his permanent introduction to his big sister. We took Curtis over to Traci's mom's to pick up Paige. We sat Curtis' car seat down in the living room and didn't say much about it to Paige. She saw him and kind of half-acknowledged him. We were okay with that. When we put them both in the car to go back home, we took away all books/toys that could have possibly been used as a projectile weapon.

Once at home, things went okay. Paige's only real reaction came when Curtis began to cry a bit. "Waaa!" Paige exclaimed. "Paigey's sad."

"Sure you are, sweetheart."

The next morning came the real breakthrough. Paige got out of bed and headed into our room to start her morning routine of watching The Wiggles with Traci. Traci was on the bed, with Curtis lying next to her. Paige walked up to the side of the bed and happily exclaimed, "Baby Brother!" She got up on the bed and had to hug and kiss him. "Oh, it's Curtis!" She then had to hold him, which she affectionately did with her arms wrapped tightly under his chin, not unlike a sleeper hold.

Since then, she's been pretty good about having him around. She only gets upset when I'm holding him instead of playing with her. We'll see how she does tomorrow when Traci's on her own and Paige can't have someone's full attention.

Welcome to the Club

I guess I am now officially part of the raising-a-boy crew. Curtis gave me an initiatory squirt this afternoon when I attempted to change his diaper. His distance was matched only by his aim.

Little Baby: Day 2

When I got back to the hospital this morning, little Curtis had already had a visit from the snip-snip doctor. I almost fainted when I saw it, but he seemed to be taking it like a champ.

Welcome to the Family

Just 8 1/2 short hours ago, we welcomed little Curtis into our family. He was 7 lbs, 4 oz and 19 inches long with a ton of brown hair.

At about 8:30 this morning Traci said that she didn't think we should go to church because she was having contractions; by 9:30 we had all of our stuff together. We dropped Paige off at my sisters and were on our way to the hospital. By 10:00 Traci was dilated to a 7 and by noon she was ready to start pushing. At 1:24, the little boy formerly known as Max Power made his appearance.

We are very happy that everything went so smoothly (and were incredibly surprised by how quickly) and that Traci didn't have to have another C-Section. Traci is feeling much better than she did after having Paige and Curtis is doing just fine.

This afternoon, Jenny brought Paige to meet her little brother. When she walked in the door, she saw me lift Curtis out of his crib and sit down on the chair. She immediately came over to me and said, "Put him back in the bed, put him back in the bed." It's going to be a rough transition.

Waiting for Max Power

I am constantly on cell phone watch these days, expecting to get the "I'm having a baby" call at any minute. However, I feel 100 percent unprepared for the arrival of this little guy.

I can't speak for Traci, but looking back at this pregnancy from my perspective, I'd say it's been kind of a rough go. Traci got pregnant right after we moved into our new house and felt lousy immediately. She was very sick, which was made more difficult by trying to chase Paige around and by having to try to unpack and organize a house at the same time.

Right after she started feeling better, she slipped and fell down the stairs. We were lucky that she didn't get hurt, other than the pain of landing right on her tail bone, which lasted a couple of long weeks.

After the stairs incident, Traci felt better for about a second before she started having the early contractions at five months. The doctor told her she needed to be on bedrest for a month (which she did half-heartedly at best). Now she's all healed up, just in time to fill lousy because she can't find a way to sleep comfortably at night. Through all of this, she's kept working (except for the bedrest era) and has taken care of our cute little monster.

I asked her a couple of months ago how many kids she wants to have, thinking that she would surely say that we'd be done after this one. She said at least three. I guess that if she said it while miserable, she must really mean it.

After this cute little boy greets us, I'm sure that we'll forget a lot of this, hence the blog to, you know, remember the misery.

Kindergarten Cop: The Finale

Today was my last session at Monroe Elementary School. Each week I read the kids a story and then we do an activity. As a going away gift, I handed out a mini version of the story book to each of the kids today. I said, "This book is just like the one I've been reading to you guys, but it doesn't have any words. Why do you think it doesn't have words?"

One of the girls raised her hand and said, "Because we don't know how to read."

"Well, that's a good point, but it's also so you can take the books home and make up any words you want to go along with the pictures."

And with that, I bid Monroe Elementary adieu.

no play for mr. gray

Spencer: What color's Mommy's hair?
Paige: It's brown.
Spencer: It's red.
Paige: It's brown.
Spencer: What color's Paigey's hair?
Paige: [looks up] It's brown.
Spencer: What color's Daddy's hair?
Paige: It's gray.

I'm going bald, but my hair's not gray.

Friday Afternoon in the Boneyard

I had big plans to make my first-ever trip to the East Coast this Spring. My friend Wix has been in Rhode Island building toys for Milton Bradley or something and he invited me to come out to visit. Traci’s stint on bedrest, combined with the gov’t extorting a huge amount of taxes from us, however, voided the plans. In consolation, friend Tyler offered to let me use some of his frequent flyer miles to visit him in sunny Las Vegas and enjoy a rock ‘n roll weekend.

We were able to see Strung Out, Bad Religion and Streetlight Manifesto during my 48 hour trip.

Highlights

Things spilled on me
At the House of Blues, I was standing on the floor, right against the wall that separates the floor from the bar above. Everyone put their half-empty beer cups against the wall (you know, so they could grab 'em later). Any time the crowded pushed back, I stepped on another drink. My shoes were soaked by the end of the show.

At the Extreme Thing festival, the teens were getting restless waiting for Streetlight to come on. Empty water bottles started sailing through the air--no biggie. But water bottles led to empty cans of Red Bull which led to not empty cups of Slushies, which led to flying CDs and shoes. I left feeling very sticky.

Getting kicked out of junior high school
Ty asked me to bring my tennis racquet on the trip. I play tennis once a year with Traci's dad, so I'm really good. Ty didn't know where the closest tennis courts were, so he looked some up on the internet. Our first try yielded a park, but no tennis court. The next spot on the list had a tennis court, but seemed to be a junior high school. The sign said Public Park, so we went on in. A few minutes later, the bell rang and out came all the kids for gym class. We kept playing tennis, but then the coach came over and told us to move on. Yes, we were the two creepy guys hanging out at the junior high in the middle of a school day.

Trip to the boneyard
Las Vegas recently decided that instead of just blowing up all of its old landmarks, it should try to hang on to at least a little bit of history. They are building a Neon Lights museum with old signs from old casinos. In the meantime, they host tours of the "boneyard," a dirt lot full of huge, beat up neon signs. It also has the charm of millions of broken bottles and broken light bulbs everywhere. It was awesome.

The boneyard also had the 30-foot tall leprechaun from the O'Shea's casino. Unlike many of the signs, it was in great shape when it showed up. However, now it was all charred up. Apparently, a bum had been living inside of it and it had caught on fire when he started a fire inside of it.

The best Thai restaurant in North America
When a restaurant boasts something like that, it must be true. The Lotus of Siam is strip mall full of Asian restaurants and billiards halls and may or may not have actually been the best Thai restaurant in North America, but there was a picture of Pat Sajack on the wall, so it probably was.

Bad Religion acoustic
For their encore, BR came out with three acoustic guitars and a stare drum. "I bet you didn't know that we influenced bands like The Eagles and Crosby Stills and Nash," Greg Graffin quipped. They played "Dearly Beloved" from their new record. It was really very good, but it was cool to see, nevertheless. Though I don't like their new album, BR always puts on a good live show.

Strung Out did not flip me off
When I saw Strung Out in Vegas six years ago, lead singer Jason Cruz flipped me off. Me personally. Why? I'm still not sure. I haven't been flipped off many times in my life and up until that point I had never been flipped off by a rock star. There's a first time for everything, I guess.

Great trip. Thanks, Ty.

Kindergarten Cop Pt. Deux

Day two at Kindergarten: Taught kids about cash money. I held up big pictures of a penny, nickel, dime and quarter. Loved by all.

However, the biggest highlight came before I started the lesson. Today was the first day back from spring break, so I asked the kids if they had a fun week. One kid raised his hand and said excitedly, “My dad hit a pigeon with an Easter egg!” Sweet.

songs for chubbs

Some lousy primary remixes:

I Hope They Call Me on a Mission - Ryan Shupe
Popcorn Popping

Atherton vs. The Flying Dutchman

I took Paige to her first concert tonight. (My parents wouldn't let me go to concerts until I was 14.) We went to Kilby Court to see my friend Brian's band Atherton play. She absolutely loved it. She sat on my shoulders the whole show, just bobbing up and down and tapping the rhythm on my head.

When we got back in the car she immediately said, "Andre?" Though Paige likes the rock and roll, her heart really belongs to Andre Rieu.


Paige can't not dance to this song. Last night she was dancing to it and ran right into the wall.


Atherton at the City Weekly Slammy's

It's Not a Tumor: I'm the real Kindergarten Cop

I taught kindergarten yesterday. My work sponsors a Title I (low income) elementary school in West Valley. Last year, my buddy Tim would go over there once a week and help tutor kids in reading and stuff. That seemed like a good enough thing to do. So when the volunteer sign up sheet came around this year, I figured I’d help out. It wasn’t until after I had already enrolled that I found out that I wasn’t going to be a tutor, but I was to actually teach kindergarten for a half hour each week for five weeks.

I am teaching Junior Achievement lessons. The older grades learn about grown-up jobs and how that makes the economy work, etc. Because I don’t know how any of that stuff works, I am teaching the kindergartners. I read them a story about Robbie and Martin working on their uncle’s farm. They went into town to trade their eggs for some bread. Wow.

The 30 minutes went just fine. I went in and introduced myself, “Hi. My name is Spencer and I’m going to teach you about work.” I had written each of the kid’s names on a table tent. I took them out of the bag and said, “When I say your name, raise your hand and I’ll give you your nametag.” I pulled out my own nametag and said, “Spencer?” The teacher responded quickly, “You must have the wrong class.” “Uh, no,” I said. “I’m Spencer.” And from there, things went swimmingly.

another test

is this working yet?

New Millencolin

Millencolin's new record is coming out in May. Judging from this video and the other new track on their Myspace page, the Swedes are putting out their poppiest material to date. Though it's a bit different, I feel better about this direction shift than I did when they tried to be a hard rock band circa Home From Home.

lousy blog/neither exploded ear nor tennis ball throat

About every 6 months my blog stops working, which is incredibly bothersome. I just have so many wonderful things to say and technology keeps trying to hold me down. So I am recovering from yet another sore throat. This time I wasn't worried about throat cancer, but strep throat. I watched a very helpful video on the internet, narrated by Lance Armstrong, about how to do a self strep test. After the results were inconclusive, I headed off to see my good friend Dr. Lee who said I had no strep. (He's nice but not as believable as Lance Armstrong.)

The point of all of this is that the last time I saw Dr. Lee was when my ear almost blew up. When I thought I was going to be deaf I was pretty bummed out. And when I was driving home from the doctor I was wishing I could just cut out my throat all together. Comparing the two maladies, I would prefer to be mute rather than deaf. I could learn sign language and so could Traci. I could type emails and maybe have one of those Shephen Hawking voice robot computers. No sweat. But no hearing, that's a drag. How would I hear when Paige finds something she's lost and exclaims, "There it are!" Yep, I'd definitely rather lose a throat and keep my ears.

Who do voodoo we do...

So we had our show with the Voodoo Glow Skulls and it went pretty good. When we arrived, I saw that VGS was already sitting on the couches in the back of the bar. I went over and introduced myself to Frank and thanked him for letting me do the interview. Thought it was a bit lame, I handed him a copy of the magazine and said, "In case you wanted to know what you said to me." I was happy to see that after I walked away he was reading the article and I saw it get passed around amongst the band.

My band played decent. It's amazing how many hundreds of times you can play a song great in your basement and screw it up the second you play in front of a live audience. But that's to be expected and not really that big of a deal. There were probably 40 people in the room while we played, most of whom were attentive. So we can't complain about that at all. The other local band, The Willkills was both really nice and quite cool. And the other touring group, Knockout, did the best cover of a Bad Religion song I've ever heard--a reggae-to-punk version of "Generator."

After 20 years, Voodoo Glow Skulls has still got it. The performance was just as intense as when I saw them nine years ago. When 6'2" 220 lbs. Frank came on stage wearing a Mexican wrestling mask and started shouting their first song, I knew they were going to bring it. And bring it they did. It got both brung and broughten. To the max.

Weekend of Mini Me's

I don't spend a whole lot of time blogging about my tender little feelings. However, over the weekend I did wax emotional a bit.

Traci and I spent Friday and Saturday with our friends Bert and Karin and their two daughters at Bert's family cabin. Bert has been my friend since we were two years old, thus occupying the role of my oldest still-friend by about 15 years.

Every six months or so my mom makes a random comment like "Do you and Bert feel old enough to be having kids?" Or "Now, when you were 10 did you picture this would be how you and Bert's life would be?" I think that's just her way of dealing with the idea that her baby is old enough to have his own baby.

But as I was outside playing with Bert and our two, two-year-old girls I thought about how this was the same age when Bert and I would have first started playing together. It was also interesting to look at our little girls, both of whom look just like us.


Bert's Mini Me, Mackenzie

I tried to get a picture of the two of them together but Paige, who was being a little monster all weekend long kept crying and saying "See ya later, picture" (translation: no pictures). They did manage to have some fun together, though. They both loved getting licked by Bert's new dog and getting pulled around in the sleds.


Paige and Izzy

Paige couldn't quite pronounce Mackenzie, or even Kenzie, so she called her "Candies." I thought that was quite a compliment, as "candy" is by far Paige's favorite thing in the world.

Baille De Los Locos

In 1996, Ty and I chose to pass up an Attaboy Skip show to see the Voodoo Glow Skulls play at Bricks. We'd never heard VGS before, but the artwork on their album Firme was so awesome that we knew that we'd love them.

Goldfinger was the touring support, so it surprised us when VGS came on second. They played four songs, which took about 10 minutes and then walked off the stage. We vowed to never support them again. But the draw to Firme was just too strong. We bought a copy at Media Play and we've been fans ever since.

Since the inception of Johnny Tightlips, I think I have tried to get the band on as the opening act for Voodoo Glow Skulls at least five times. Each time the promoter strings us along and then doesn't tell us that we're not playing the show. This time it's finally going to happen (fingers crossed).

So in just a few days the band is going to have our biggest show to date. Not big in terms of number of people--I'm sure there will be very few people in the crowd when we start playing-- but big in that we're going to be on the same stage as one of my favorite bands.

I am completely nervous, and like every show, I'm totally wishing that we never would have sought it out. That anxiety will intensify until we go on stage. I'll be nervous while we play and then immediately after, I will be so excited/relieved that the only thing I'll be able to think about is playing another show.

---

For the past few months I've been writing album reviews for In Utah This Week. I figured it afforded me an opportunity that I never would have had otherwise. With being assigned, or even clearing it with my editor, I sent an email to VGS, requesting an interview for the magazine.

I was excited when I heard back from lead singer Frank Casillas. We set up a time and I gave him a call a few days later. I was nervous to talk to him--especially two minutes into the interview when my digital recorded started beeping because it was out of memory--but he was incredibly cool and very easy to talk to. At the show on Thursday I plan to meet him in person, which I'm really looking forward to.

Here's the interview:

Black Magic

Fifteen years of genre-bending have the Voodoo Glow Skulls radiating worldwide.

Mixing ska, metal and Latin, the genre-defying Voodoo Glow Skulls have sold more than 1 million records since their debut 15 years ago. With their seventh album, “California Street Music,” the band shows no signs of slowing down. In Utah This Week caught up with frontman Frank Casillas before the band headed out its current West Coast tour.

IN: Over your career, you’ve outlasted almost all of your peers. What’s been the key to the success and longevity of your band?
Frank Casillas: We decided a long time ago that we were going to be a punk rock band. There’s a lot of work ethic and DIY values that we started out with back in the day that got us where we’re at now. We’ve always tried to maintain that type of integrity.

There was a point in time where we were persuaded to have corporate and business management, but at the end of the day all they were doing was sucking money out of the band. We eliminated all of that from the business part of the band and took it upon ourselves to do everything on our own.

[Fortunately], we weren’t thrown through the system. That seems to be a common thing with commercial labels — they get a band sopping wet and they throw them against the wall to see if they’ll stick. Nine times out of 10 they don’t. That’s why you don’t hear about [a lot of bands] again after their debut. We’ve always been aware of that. We’ve always called our own shots and done what we thought was best. We’re still doing it. The phone’s still ringing and we’re still here.

IN: You took a longer time to put out “California Street Music” than usual. How do you think that affected the process and the final product?
FC: Throughout the years, we’ve been developing our own recording studio. We’ve done the last couple of records on our own. This time we just decided to wait until it felt right. Nobody was really saying ‘Man, you’ve got to put this record out right now.’ There were really no deadlines. We wanted to take our time with it.

We wanted to reinvent what we had done on the first couple of albums. We tried to re-create what the Voodoo Glow Skulls are known for — the manic sound. A mixture of punk, metal, ska and Latin, and little bit of hip-hop. We tried to re-create what we’re known for and come out with a young-sounding album again.

We didn’t really try to go for any goals or anything; we just put ourselves in the studio. It took us a couple of years because we were on tour while we were trying to write the album. A lot of it was writing songs, putting them on hold for a couple months, coming back and giving them another listen, reevaluating what we did a couple months before, and fixing it — basically just taking our time. We came out with a good record. It’s not the best we can do, by all means, but it was a good transition and probably what people were expecting from us at this time.

IN: If someone were checking out Voodoo Glow Skulls for the first time, what record would you recommend?
FC: The record that got us the most notoriety was “Firme.” That record catapulted the band to the next level. I think it’s the record a lot of people identify the band with. “Band Geek Mafia” is also a fan favorite. Those two are the ones that made the biggest impact on our fans.

IN: Voodoo Glow Skulls have played everywhere. Where are your best international fans?
FC: Mexico is always great for us. My parents are from Mexico and we’ve got family there. Plus we did the “Firme” record all in Spanish, which got us a lot of attention there. That’s where we have the most rabid fans, where fans really go nuts over the band.

On our last tour, we made it to some Eastern European countries [including Croatia and Slovenia] for the first time. The crowds were so happy just to have an American band in their presence. It could have been anybody probably [laughs], but for Voodoo Glow Skulls to go somewhere where many American bands never get to go ... it was a great feeling. It’s a sense of accomplishment when you can say, ‘Our music is the reason why we’re here. And our music got us here.’ There are a lot of places abroad where they take in the band, and where we’re well respected. Japan has some of the best audiences. The UK is also a great for this type of music.

We don’t break attendance records everywhere we go. We play small, comfortable clubs — places where fans can see the band and experience the band the way they want to. We do play big festivals as well. Every gig is different. For us, it’s great just to be able to maintain and do what we do — play small punk rock shows for the most part. And sometimes you’ll travel across the globe and play a small, 200- person venue. And some of those are the best shows.

Big Girl Bed

We're now on day two of Paige's transition from the crib to the big girl bed. Traci and I were both pleasantly surprised when, on the first night, she went down and woke back up just fine. It was a good thing that we had put up the bed railing. In the morning, she was firmly pressed against the railing, actually leaning over the side of the bed.

Night two went off without a hitch. However, when we went into her room this morning she was nowhere to be found--not on the bed, not on the floor beside it. Upon further inspection, she was on the floor at the head of the bed, fast asleep.

So we're not sure if she got off the bed or fell off the bed; either way she seemed content enough on the floor.

"Paige," I said, "Did you sleep on the big girl bed?"

"Big girl bed," she replied.

I figured she didn't know she was on the floor, so I just congratulated her on sleeping on the bed and she got up and watched The Wiggles.

You Know You're Right

I saw the video for Nirvana's only posthumously released new track "You Know You're Right" the other day. I hadn't seen it in what, five years I'd guess. It still managed to give me chills. What an awesome song. Great video as well.

Ronnie Reagan vs. Saul "Slash" Hudson

I just finished reading a graphic novel biography of Ronald Reagan. I enjoyed it so much that I have decided that I am now only getting my information in comic book form. Well, maybe not. After the biography of the Gipper, I moved on to Slash's autobiography. I don't know if I want to read the comic book version of Slash, er, becoming a man at age 12 and concurrently smoking pot and doing drugs with his girlfriend and her mom. Ronald Reagan would not have approved.

DDR & Labor Pains

I had a great plan to dance, dance revolute myself into shape this new year. For a few weeks it went really well. Traci even danced right along with me until she started having early contractions and had to be on bed rest for a month. Whoops.

Now my new dancing partner is Paige. When she's not pushing me off of my dance pad (she needs to dance on both pads), she's getting her boogie on. The other day she added cartwheels and spins to her repertoire. Her favorite part is when the dance is over and I get my letter score. She waits and waits for the score to appear and then "Yay!!! The letter E!!!!" No matter what letter it is, she couldn't be more excited. She loves letters.

Here's Jenny and Paige fighting for DDR supremacy:

Cap'n Crazy Hair

What do you do when this is your kid's hair?

Increase My Killing Power, eh?

Doctor: We can preform the operation for you. It greatly increase your brain power. Or it may kill you.
Homer: Hmm, increase my killing power, eh? I'll do it!

You know what I hate? Everything. No, but I do hate gimmicky self-assessment color tests, self-help books and the like. But due to the fact that I lose my car keys at least three times a week, and my wallet the other two days, I figured I needed some help. So I called up friend, drummer and librarian Danny Hansen, and asked him to bring me some books on how to increase my killing, er, memory power.

I've only read the first chapter of BrainFit, but I have a feeling 27-year-olds aren't the target audience. (Sample question: How often do you forget to take your pills.) Nevertheless, I carry on.

One of the first recommendations was to change up the way you do things that you don't normally have to think about. So this morning I brushed my teeth with my non-dominant hand. I wasn't as good with my left hand as I thought I'd be, but brushing your teeth doesn't require a lot of precision. When I got done I was impressed by my new and improved brain power. Unitl I stepped into the shower and realized I had a giant chunk of toothpaste in the back of my hair. I guess I need to keep practicing.

UPDATE: Tonight I took the book's first quiz to gauge my memory. I am pleased to report that score is that of an average 70-year-old. I'm the target audience after all.

Superbowl

My prediction for the game was New England 42, Giants 17. One minute 'til halftime and it doesn't look like it's going to be a high scoring affair. I'm still rooting for the underdog.