Big and Fake

I went to the University of Utah football game with my homie Tony last night. The best thing about Tony is that he says exactly what is on his mind, no matter how embarrassing or polictically incorrect it may be.

Since he's single, he would rate every girl that walked past us up the stadium stairs. Comments ranged from "She's a saucy mommy" to "I like 'em thick." The best comment, however, came when Tony spotted some cosmetic work from forty feet away. "Those are fake," he said matter-of-factly. As those fakies items got closer, his glance moved up a bit to the girl's shoulder, which bore a Tinker Bell tattoo. Before ever reaching her face, Tony exclaimed, "Hey, I got on that chick!"

Tony speaks highly and frequently of his very brief relationship with the girl with the fakies and I was happy to finally get to see her. His experience led him to take on the following anthem: "I like 'em small and real, or big and fake." Tony always keeps it interesting.